Sinister: underwire bras may not get you a job as a fey groupie anytime soon

[Heather Humble]

Well, I've been here in Virginia for a month and not a single Virginian on
this list has contacted me.  North Carolinians, on the other hand have been
lovely and pleasant people.  Which is really too bad considering Mr.
Pennington's rumors of B&S shirt wielding Virginians.  So I know they exist.
They just dont love me.

But that's all right because I will shortly be returning to Portland, OR
where I belong.  I've been corresponding with newcomer to PDX, Mr. Preston,
and I've decided that we should have some sort of picnic or other such event
to welcome him and show him around town.  That and I desperately need to
meet more non-Reedie Portlanders for my own sanity.  So I expect more
Portlanders to contact me than Virginians did.  Because P-town is cool like
dat.  Or something.  Get in touch, yo.

What else?  I might as well go through all of those messages I've been
saving up in my "Sinister" folder for the past month that seemed to be
begging for a response
when I read them:

To Ms. Jes Re: Underwire bras- You know you need them when you can stick a
pencil under your boob and it stays there.  But having not seen your
breastessess, size may not be your problem.  If the underwire isn't staying
in place you need to a) make sure the bra fits right- go to your local
department store and have that scary old lady with cold hands and the tape
measure around her neck measure you up good. b) make sure you have a good
quality bra that wont fall apart easily and c) handwash your bras so the
wire doesn't get messed up in the washer and dryer.  My mom told me that you
should always take good care of your boobs.

To Mr.White Re: not getting a job- here's my thought.  In England they train
you on a certain path that they expect you to follow and don't leave room
for deciding you want to do other things with your life.  Or maybe Im just
bitter about the educational system in Britain and England in general.

To Mr. Frantial Re: groupies- I've always had the same problem with people
doing that sort of thing.  Im more of a mental groupie, too.  I dont have
anything to say important and I dot see the need in bothering them. They're
people, too.  The worst time ever for that was this March while I was in
London.  I met up with some American friends who had come over to see Coil
and then GYBE! the following night.  I really enjoyed the shows but did not
need to be sitting around the Royal Festival Hall for 3 hours after each
show waiting for these people to fawn over their "rock stars" (if you can
consider members of either band to be such things).  Made me want to puke
and made me feel bad for the musicians who were just completely overwhelmed
by these people flocking to them just because they're famous.
Unfortunately, I had to stay around and watch because the friend I was
staying with had a major crush on one of the groupies we were with.  Blech.
Funny thing is, said friend was also disgusted and he lives with a "rock
star" of stature as the bands we saw.  Apparently he asked my friend to live
with him because he didn't care that he was famous.  I hope that didn't
count
as name dropping. "My friend lives with a rock star. so nyah"  Hmmm... maybe
Im getting too neurotic again.  Maybe Im an anti-groupie-snob?

To Mr. n|ck g Re: fey- your suggestion made me think of a time about 2 or 3
months ago.  I was out with some friends around town and two of them were
fighting over the definition of "fey." (one thought it meant whimsical and
fairy like, the other thought it meant dark and warlike).  So off we all
trotted to the Woolworth's down the road and looked it up.  Neither were
happy, of course, in that they were both wrong and right at the same time.
Each one thought they had won.  So I didn't say anything.  But the moral of
the story is, people in real life do use the dictionary.  Or maybe just
losers like us.

Oh my this is getting lengthy.  But I have new things to talk about, such
as:

Cars- I love them.  I got one Monday in fact!  It's terribly exciting!
While
I am a firm believer in public transportation, there are just some times
that a car is safer and more useful for me (e.g. getting home from ballet
class taking 25 minutes rather than 1.5 hours with creepy transfer places at
night, etc).  I got a 1999 Ford Contour SE (better known as the Mondeo to
you Europeans), which is a family sort of car, but a car (and a nice one at
it) none the less.  Speaking of new cars, how fucking rad are the PT
Cruisers?  I remember seeing them on Speedvision over Xmas, but now they're
everywhere- even here in conservative VA!  So far Ive seen them in eggplant,
silver, red, black, white and navy.  They look best in black, look horrible
in red and white, and look kinda weird in the purpley color.  They are just
so slick.  have you seen how all of the gauges in the dash have their own
separate windows, like in old cars?  My parents are convinced that they'll
be the new Chrysler Caravan.  I'm not sure of that but let me tell you, if I
had 18Gs I'd get one!  yes sir!

Nick Drake- What's the deal with the sudden resurgence?  First the VW ad and
then Monday I heard one of his songs as I was flipping through channels- it
was on some show on Fox around 8 or 9.  Hmmm...  Hurrah for Nick, but how
odd!

Gynecologists- Why are they just like dentists and ask you about your cat
(pardon the pun) whilst taking a pap smear?  At least you don't have
something in your mouth but it's still rather odd.

NME- Why do I read it?  It always pisses me off.  Not only are they wrong in
their band facts 90% of the time, but they are quite often the most
contradictory reviewers around.  Or at least they always have separate
people reviewing and scoring.  That and their reviewers don't like any of
the bands that I like.  So why do I read it week after week?  Anyone?

Music- I go through these weird stages of loving it and absofuckinglutely
LOVING it.  Now why is it that when I'm in the latter stage I have no money
to go and get what I NEED.  Take for instance this week.  I have $3.41
(better than the $-27.41 that I argued my way out of back up to the $3.41).
Now in a couple weeks when I have money, I wont be as excited and spend my
money on drinks or food or something silly like that.  Grrr.  I used to keep
a list of albums that I knew I just *absolutely* had to buy, but it was
getting to fill the larger part of a notebook so I got rid of it- it
depressed me too much.

okay, this is enough of my B&S content free drivel...
until the next time I move or go somewhere exciting,
heather
http://www.reed.edu/~hhumble





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