Sinister: finged and unhinged

[Lucy Alder]

Cor!  I don't know about you, but the idea of paying to receive personal services from members of
my favourite band makes me tremble.  

Lucy slips into a reverie...  Richard stands close behind her, puts his hand on hers and shows her
the correct way to hold the snooker cue while Stevie, eyes twinkling, sings sweet soul music and
Chris chops a variety of root vegetables vegetables in a saucy apron!  

Ooooh, the very thought of it made me come over all wobbly.  And then I read "A volunteer would
have to decide how far they would be willing to go to utilise their talent" and I nearly fainted
cold on the floor!  I'm not sure what talent I could offer in return though.  Perhaps lessons in
how to spend three hours getting ready for a night out and keep your friends waiting?  I'm quite
good at that, right Lixi?  Aha!  I can fit my whole fist into my mouth.  That's an exceptional
talent, is it not?  So I could maybe teach how to do that, unless it's a genetic can/can't thing
like rolling your tongue or crossing your toes, in which case no amount of teaching would work. 
But mouths are quite stretchy aren't they?  Hmmm.  I'll have to have a think about that one.

Carsmile Steve, are you really moving in down the road from Tapetree Ben?  Vel, are you really
coming to England this time?

It occurred to me that Pauline L Shivers is one of those names you could get a lot of anagrams out
of.  Here are a few:

Nashville Super I
A Level Irish puns
Punish Vera Ellis
I slurp Helen Avis
Hi puss, learn evil

Hands up if you're addicted to Big Brother?  Americans/Canadians/others, do you have Big Brother? 
I think it already exists in bits of Europe.  It's like the Real World, but loads bitchier because
the housemates have to vote for who they want to be ejected from the house each week!  And so does
the public!  Fun!  And their tea bags are rationed and they fight over them.  And there's
snogging!  It was a bit weird watching the snogging though, because it's not a scripted thing like
normal TV or film snogs and they really use tongues too - eurgh!  

Anyway, if you're a total voyeur and like watching real people do the same stuff as you do every
day (although they won't be at the snogging anymore because the male half of the snogging couple
got chucked out at the weekend, but anyway...) go here:

http://www.bigbrother.terra.com/

I think I've written quite enough nonsense for the time being, don't you?

Juicy Lucy


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