Sinister: you dug the roadside blur

[Robyn Fadden]

mmermmeraherahmeryar,
so sinister... *so*...
you know when your life revolves around a theme? like say
rollerderby or shoe shopping or ilk. it may be brief, but
it's kind of centring. and then you go for long periods,
perhaps years/half-decades, of themelessness. lack of ness.
or a chaotic ness of themes that won't stick. mm, well,
yes. can't quite seem to shake the want for theme.
sometimes tone just doesn't quite cut it. and tone tends to
wander. which screws up theme, of course... abstractions,
agh and sorry, but the only concrete thing i can give is
the intersection of main and hastings at dusk on a monday
night where wandering junkies sort of group and ungroup
like kaleidescope rocks, which assumes something bigger
moves them, such as need or theme, towards a $200-a-day
habit, something quite easy to understand really if given
the chance. 

<shakes head etch-a-sketch style> ...

i've moved to a new neighbourhood. i like it. but the
transition from west-side lawns and well-bred dogs,
SUV4WD-and-assorted-merchandise splendor to east-side,
well, melange remains jarring. what a few blocks and a new
bus route can do... and living alone, oh yes. 

so this and now having nick drake and 69 love songs (a
theme? more than! it seems on this list lately) and seeing
too much cable tv on the weekend have caused something in
me. ech, causing (i joke.) (what? the universe! i...) is
there a cure for being overwhelmed? essential oils? yoga? a
massive russian novel? subprotomicrobial shock therapy?
hmm? 

i saw a film called "Judy Berlin" last night. it is a very
good and sincere and non-sarcastic story about the suburbs.
well, more than the suburbs, but that is where it is set
(new york city suburbs that is. different from california
suburbs or toronto suburbs or london suburbs, but
regardless, still "outside 'action central'") it's a
wonderful film with beautiful cinematography (and in black
and white even, so it feels simultaneously twilight
zone/hitchcock/cary grant comedy/citizen kane/hal hartley
even...) and some damn good writing and acting. 

canada: now has its own version of "who wants to be a
millionaire". it's all over the news. it's crazy. it's
bound to surpass anne of green gables and degrassi in
national popularity... i feel so on edge.

i do.

i know nothing of this whole eating beaver business (and
what jokes?). i believe it is illegal. get cher brit-ish
tea-swillin' colonizin' a'r'ses offa my prop-erty! (watch
out, they'll be feasting on eagle soon...)   oh my.

i really do think it's possible to understand completely
and not understand at all at the same time. i do. for a lot
of things. (one currently being the 'big brother'-type
show. i... i just.)

more stability in tone next time,
r y
o n
b .

=====
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ~Steven Wright
~~~
Robyn Fadden    rfadden at yahoo.com    Vancouver, BC

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Kick off your party with Yahoo! Invites.
http://invites.yahoo.com/
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+
    +---+  Brought to you by the undead Sinister mailing list  +---+
    To send to the list mail sinister at missprint.org. To unsubscribe
    send "unsubscribe sinister" or "unsubscribe sinister-digest" to
    majordomo at missprint.org.  WWW: http://www.missprint.org/sinister
 +-+  "legion of bedroom saddo devotees" "tech-heads and students"  +-+
 +-+  "the cardie wearing biscuit nibbling belle & sebastian list"  +-+
 +-+       "sinsietr is a bit freaky" - stuart david, looper        +-+
 +-+   "pasty-faced vegan geeks... and we LOST!" - NME April 2000   +-+
 +-+       "peculiarly deranged fanbase" "frighteningly named       +-+
 +-+           Sinister List organisation" - NME May 2000           +-+
+----------------------------------------------------------------------+