Sinister: Gee, Baby, Ain't It Good For You?

[Pauline L. Shivers]

Oh, hello sinister
What a disaster!! The whole weekend has been nothing
else but a sheer-turtle-disaster!
I told you we were going to have a family reunion at
the family's cottage. Well, we did! And it all went
worse than I could possibly imagine...
First of all, Big Aunt Myrtles invited to our family
reunion that disgusting macaroni dandy, the one she
wants to marry me off to! Yes! His name is Giovanni
Gregorio d'Arnazzio... Yes! And she invited him to the
family reunion! She thought it would be a good chance
for me to meet him! So, he arrived there on Saturday!
What can I say about him? he is very good-looking, the
way italians are, tall, thin, dark hair, with a nice
tan. he's 30 years old and God is he rich!
My dad loved him at once! But the poor fool, he'd do
anything to please Aunt Myrtles! You should have seen
him; the whole weekend he was just strolling about
auntie, trying to make himself agreable to her anyway
he could! Oh how much I despise him for that!
Me and Theodor (my cousin), were away when my "fiance"
arrived! We love to walk up the hill that is near the
cottage! There's a little river there and we love to
go swimming! So, we were racing each other down the
hill when we saw this fancy car entering our garden.
And then this really handsome bloke getting out of the
car... I heard Theodor sighing! I think I can tell you
that now; I strongly believe that Theodor is gay, but
a "in-the-closet" one! He never talked to me about it,
but I'm sure he's about to... poor Theodor!! And he
has to marry this blonde, washed off cow! And he
really did sigh when he saw Giovanni! This slimy
excuse for a man! I do hope Giovanni is gay so we can
keep him in the family, and aunt turtle will be happy,
and Theodor will be happy, and most of all, I will be
happy... And besides, I heard from my good friend
Althea, whose father owns the cottage next to ours,
that he's an awful lover! and not really "gifted" if
you know what I mean!!
So, family dinner... we all sat at this huge table,
aunt Myrtles on the head of it and my dad on the other
edge. I sat next to Theodor and Giovanni opposite to
me! He was looking at me all the time with his wet
eyes, that look like 2 olives thrown in olive oil!
And then that waiter started to serve us! I'd never
seen him before, he was one of the extras aunt Myrtle
hires sometimes for special occasions. Oh was he cute!
I couldn't take my eyes of him! And he wasn't
indifferent to me, mind you! Who would anyway?
Then I asked for permission to be excused, and as I
was getting up from my chair holding a glass full of
water, I accidentally bumbed onto the poor waiter! As
a result all the water fell on my white silk shirt!
Now you can imagine what happened! The waiter couldn't
take his eyes off my erm... wet shirt; aunt Myrtles
started to get red and stretched her neck in the most
disgusting manner I had ever seen!
What is this thing with me and commoners? I think
Theodor has it too, as I suspect that he's secretly
having this crush over auntie's gardener Arthur! He
walks around him everytime he's hoeing auntie's famous
rosetrees! 
But I shall stop now and come back with more
adventures from that disastrous weekend some other
time... Because I'm sure you'll all want to know how
Giovanni sneaked into my room and Theodor got caught
with Arthur in the stables! yes!! 
oh another thing! Honey, that luxurious little girl
that happens to be a princess too, so I'm allowed to
talk with her and be friends with her, said that
there's a sinister anniversary! 3 years of sinister!
and she suggested that on that day we should all wear
underwear that would have the same colour! I really
liked this idea! it could only come from a nobel mind!
What I suggest is that we all wear undies in red! And
I wonder, miss Honey, am I allowed to wear stockings
too or is it against the rules?

               Pauline L. Shivers
                 
that makes sinister all quivers
She's that aristocratic slag
Who lives and reigns in Prague

PS: Lucy made some anagrams with my name! 
> It occurred to me that Pauline L Shivers is one of 
> those names you could get a lot of anagrams out of. 
> Here are a few:
> Nashville Super I
> A Level Irish puns
> Punish Vera Ellis
> I slurp Helen Avis
> Hi puss, learn evil
I liked them all!! But I really loved the "I slurp
Helen Avis" and "Hi puss, learn evil" ones!! God!! I
can use them as my sign off!!! Or as a code with my
commoner lovers!! Thank you Lucy!!



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