Sinister: is new and exciting an' stuff!

[Greg Pallis]

Hmmm. That title won't work for people who get the digest. And I don't doubt
literarily squillions of people have used it before. However, I'm but a poor
wikkle list-noobie who overuses the word "wuv", so don't throw too many
sharp objects at me, mmkay?

Could the tautology be "Queen's own army" from Me and the Major? That's
pretty much exactly the same as "Queen's army". I suspect not, as otherwise
all ye smartnessbunnies would have picked up on it. But anyways. That was
actually the main reason I broke I broke my list lurkerdom, so I'm going to
have to babble some more here so that this post doesn't look all titchy and
pathetic and get beaten up by big long posts about linguistics and
Wittgenstein.

I'm tempted not to introduce myself, so you can all think I'm some
mysterious and impeccably cool man-with-no-name-type figure. However, I've
just horrendously burnt the pizza I was meant to be cooking, which seems a
terribly bad omen. So I'll tell you all about me, so that when I'm kidnapped
by the bad pizza demons, you can all get togethor with some Powerpuff Girls'
fans and form the Superhero team "Sinister Dexter" to rescue. Sorry. Sorry.
Please, please forgive me. That was truly unspeakably bad. I think go I'll
die in a hole now. Bleh. Soooo, moving on from such appaling comic-pun
shenanigans, me! Yeah! Right. Well, I'm 16 years old, and 17 this coming
Friday. I'm waiting for my GCSEs with roughly the same amount of desperate,
gibbering terror as almost everyone else my age in the country. I just burnt
an ungarnished cheese and tomato pizza really, really badly. It asked for
twelve minutes, and I gave it, like, 35. I look somewhat like a younger
version of the mid-period Elvis with my current haircut, though perversely
very little like the young Elvis. My eyes are blue, green or brown depending
on my mood. No, really. Yes, like in some anime. Except my hair doesn't
change colour too. Which is a pity. I own a considerable number of tarot
decks, from which I can do reading with varying amounts of skill. My
undoubted fave is a deck from UK teenybopper magazine Just-17, which
intrigues and terrifies me in equal measure. One of the cards is called "The
Steps CD". This may or may not equate to the ten of swords - "ruin". What
else? I live in London. I played the horrendously addictive internet game
sissyfight (www.sissyfight.com), in which you represent a bitchy
four-year-old, and have to humiliate other bitchy four-year-olds by
scratching them and teasing them and licking lollipops to rise up the
rankings, for about four months solid once, and nearly got suspended from my
none-more-posh school for falling asleep all the time after playing all
night, every night. They kept giving me urine tests for drugs, and looking
baffled when I passed. That's not particually relevant to anything, really.
I'm about a 7, tweeness-wise, though that's my own biased view and not be
trusted. I've missed the last four track-and-fields, the last seven nights
at Trash and I'm going to have to miss the Sinister picnic... various
complicated real-lifey stuff. Glurk. I should stop this relentless tirade of
vanity now, for this pizza is getting cold and thus even less appetizing,
and my mother has a habit of going into my room and throwing away random
things as punishment if she comes back from work to find uneaten food. It's
a vestige from a best-forgotten anorexic manicsboy phase a few years ago. I
fucking hate the Manics.

Finally - some questions for you happy Sinister ministrels to answer:
1) Whatever happened to "fluffy candarel"?
2) Did anyone else always think the narrator of 'Belle lettres' was female?
3) How GRATE is Infinite Jest?

And that's a wrap, popkids. Mourn Sunset Beach well.

I flee now.
-v-v-v-v-
Greg
"Mmm... good taco" - Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.

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