Sinister: Stories of horror! (Actually just 1 story)

[CaMo81 at xxx.com]

    Oh the Horror! Oh the Shame! The Agony!  I narrowly avoided a travesty 
that would have rocked the nation.  My mother (who's intentions where good) 
confused Belle and Sebastian with 70's glam rocker (and a particularly bad 
one at that) Sebastian Bach! <Insert seizure here>
    She said she almost bought tickets to the musical he is staring in.  I 
told her "Thanks for your concern but consult me before you make any rash 
decisions."
70's Glam rock, THE HORROR!

Anyway, Jenowl said:
 >Also hard kids, this week, have decided to put chewing gum all over the 
inside of my jacket when I wan't looking, so it wrecked my jacket, and my new 
pinafore. Also, they tried to steal my headscarf, but I stopped them, which I 
was proud of. I also said "bite me" to a really hard kid, when she told me 
how I was dead, so I was proud of that too.<

Under such circumstances, psychological warfare must be used. For one entire 
school year, you have to wear all black with big heavy steel tip storm 
trooper boots. That takes care of the outside image. Now when you're 
approached by these so called "hard kids," it's very important to have a 
stone straight face, when they threaten you, you lean in real close and in a 
real soft voice, you say something terribly gory, be imaginative. Some of my 
favs are, "I'm going to gut you like a fish and then use your intestines as a 
garden hose," or "I'm going to decapitate you, boil off the skin and use your 
overturned skull as a candy dish." Be creative, there are lots of internal 
organs, have fun with them!  Then you must spread slowly a penchant for war 
and death. Be careful with this one, if it gets to the teachers you're 
completely screwed.  Follow these steps and "your obsessions get you known 
throughout the school for being strange."  Trust me I did this last year, no 
one bothers me now. 

    My new experiment for this year is to go shopping and start dressing very 
twee and harmless like, even though on the inside I could kill someone. (I'm 
quite handy with butterfly knives and have recently taken up knife throwing.) 
Ummm perhaps I said too much hehe......<glances about nervously> So? When was 
Struans birthday?

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any damages, deaths, or personal 
injuries incurred by the above statements. Even though everyone on the list 
now thinks I'm a complete psychopath. (Don't worry guys, in reality I am 
pretty harmless.)

So? Anyone know where I could pick up some twee looking clothes?  My friend 
picked up a rather nice sweater from Old Navy, so I'll probably start there.  
My goal is too look like one of the guys on the opening graphic of the French 
tweeclub website, www.chez.com/tweeclub. Check it out and get back to me. I 
love screwing with the masses! Good night Sinister, wherever you lay your 
head.

                                                    Derek

P.S. I hope any potential Sinister friendships were not destroyed by this 
posting. It's all just propaganda for my ego anyway. =) 

P.P.S: Jenowl, please don't really do this.
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