Sinister: You never close your eyes anymore when you read my posts...

[Laura Llew]

Happy Birthday to youuuuu
Happy Birthday to youuuuu
Happy Birthday to Sinister
(and Stu David, JEB Stuart,
Pookie, JD Stephens, and a
zillion other people)
Happy Birthday to youuuuu

I figured I ought to get a post out before we're flooded with torrents of 
missives concerning the Sinister picnic of the day. Since it was a birthday 
celebration was everyone in their birthday suits or just in their red 
undies?

I didn't do anything celbratory. However, I did get called a phreak (which 
is akin to being freaky) because I'm wearing socks with toes. (They're like 
gloves for the feet. Very cozy.) I love sinister. Of course, I really just 
use it to leech off of Peter Miller's & Brad!'s wit. Y'all both need to 
write more posts because I've used all of your snappy lines already. I 
figure if I virtually surround my people by bright clever people than I can 
some how soak in the goodness. It worked for Judas Iscariot ... or not.

Course even if I was in London I probably wouldn't have gone to the picnic. 
There was that snazzy KinderGore festival a few weeks ago in Athens which is 
just a few hours from me. I thought of going and then I realized I wasn't 
hip enough so I fled to go plunder in old book bookstores in Maine for a 
week. It was quite nice. At the highest point on the Atlantic coast, I fell 
in love with the guy with black curly hair who was wearing a Salt Lake City 
tee shirt and holding a fancy camera. He was standing in front of me and it 
all ended when he turned around & saw his face. However, those three minutes 
were bliss. Later that day, we went down to the rocky cliffs by the ocean 
and I saw where someone has set their copy of Ellison's "Invisible Man", a 
notebook, and a a bottle of water down on a rock. I didn't even see the 
owner of it all but I was on the rebound. So, I fell in love again. It was 
an eventful trip. Canada (Ottawa, Montreal, & Quebec) was also a stop on the 
trip and that was lovely. Don't worry - I didn't ask anyone to sing "Jumper" 
in french. No, the drive was sponsored musically by Modest Mouse (oh love 
the new album), Pavement, Soda Stream, The Magnetic Fields, a lovely mix 
tape by Will Harris (who makes the best mixes EVER), a compilation of all of 
b&s's singles (plus, an ace copy of Loneliness of the middle distance 
runner) given to me by the darling James Thorniley,  and the letter B 
(standing for Bonney Boys).

Wily Walkn10 Steve Stuttered:
"Well, I hope everyone's summer is still going well...men's basketball 
season is right around the corner, and Mrs. Llew can look forward to 6 whole 
months of beat-downs."

I personally snap to attention whenever I hear my name near words like 
"beat-downs" and especially when it's used in conjunction with "right around 
the corner." However, Steve's words completely threw me off guard with the 
title 'Mrs. Llew.' Mrs.? When did I get married?? I swear (like a sailor) 
that the bride is always the last to know! Can someone tell me who my 
husband now is?

I hope that won't effect my spinisterine status. Ohh thinking of 
Spinisterines- Miss Velocity wrote me a lovely poem with the note of, "I 
know it's silly... but i just wanted to make you smile... are you smiling??" 
attached. Well, Special K had no way of knowing that that day I had 3 final 
exams, an end of course project, and a dentist appointment. Throw in a 
plague and some famine and I could have gotten to nurture my inner Job. The 
poem did make me smile though and for that I'm grateful.

In fact, I love all of the Laura Llew poetry so much that I ventured into 
the unknown realm of webpages to bring the Laura Llew Anthology of poetry to 
the world. Yes, indeedy. Now, instead of just being used to clog up the 
archives of Sinister the poetry the lLLl are also now set forth at  
http://www.angelfire.com/indie/badpoetry  Yes! Click on the shiny blue link 
now to be taken into a world of sniffin glue, milkmaids, and the occasional 
rhyme. I even dug through my stuff to find two poems written to/for me by my 
two of my best friends. I would like to make a few disclaimers first (though 
they won't make sense until after you see the site):

1. William Andrew Harris is a different entity from the so-called President 
William Munro Harris. Two separate personages. I put the picture of William 
A. Harris up because it is actual photo phootage of him reading the poem to 
me two years ago. I realize that it is a particularly bad picture and his 
profile is looking a bit goat-like. However, he is quite cute or so I was 
assured by my 3 roommates who all had mad crushes on him. All I know is that 
he gave me lots of presents that year so I was happy. I even obtained his 
permission to put the picture up. (He said, "I don't remember it being THAT 
unflattering, Laura." Oh it is. At least, he doesn't have on his glasses 
which make him look like a Nazi Death Camp guard. Heil Harris!)
2. I have never sniffed glue. (I prefer whiteout and those supposedly 
nontoxic scented markers).
3. I will happily take more submissions (Not just in poem form either. Any 
volunteers to be my slave or cabanna boy are more than encouraged as well..)
D. During my hunt for poetry, I came across one written three years ago for 
a co-worker at the time. It begins:

Ode to Marky Mark Powder Cakes

Wanna hear something weird?
The hair on your back looks like Porter Rockwell's beard.
Too bad it's not on your head
Enough Said.

It goes on but I'll spare you. I figured that you could tell from this why 
there is no poetry BY me on there. It does sound like it could apply to 
someone else though doesn't? Tell me, Mark C*, did you ever work as a 
telemarketer in the US?

If anyone can tell me who Porter Rockwell is without looking it up anywhere, 
you'll get my crush vote. I went to a restaurant in Lehi Utah once with a 
Porter Rockwell theme. Needless to say, it was scary.

your bookshop girl,

Laura
'meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977'

PS- #sinisters, do any of you have the link for the boy:girl test? (The one 
that tells you how feminine your brain is or something like that). Could 
someone pleasepleaseplease send it to me. I'd be ever so grateful. I'm 
warning you chatters now that I'm going to be returning to my home while i'm 
at home soon.
PPS- the above ps reminded me of boygirlorder - Noah (Mark). I was happy to 
see that he posted again but sad to see that neither Will Porter or I were 
blamed for it. Sure, you get big and forget all the little scapegoats.

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