Sinister: the best laid plans of meece and men...

[sophie harris]

*
hello sweet things
just got back from 'high fidelity' and feeling rather strange. expected not 
to like it (tho' affectionate towards the book), and then was hopelessly 
entertained by the whole thing ('i laaafed, i cried...). odd though, felt 
sparkly and a little bit taller when we got out (like you do when you see a 
really amazing gig or see someone you've missed), and then we had excitable 
conversations about it in the pub (like a film debriefing, and then big 
relaayyyshionship / differences between boys and girls (not *those* ones) 
discussions. and now i feel sad. sad about the first and only person to 
break myheart, and cumulative weekend/ sundaymonday blues and also weird as 
start new job tommorrow and am frankly a bit scared - *soooo* wanted the 
job, didnt think i'd get it - and now i have, bloody terrified i wont be up 
to 'scratch' (rrrr) - and then missed the picanic on sunday, as roped into 
other stuff by, in fact, the very friends who sniggered at me in the cinema 
in the little b&s bit at the beginning. wore best red underwear on sunday 
tho, and frowned to myself that noone i was with knew or cared about my 
great knickers and the reason for them. (sigh)...
so tonight's odd little mist of a mood puts me in mind of a piece of 
graffitti, really one of the most beautiful things i think i have ever seen; 
'kay, where i used to live in brighton (the Level if you wanna have a look), 
there's a wide path that stretches across a Green, and written across the 
path in white spray paint and nearly worn off, it just says, in big letters 
'How could you do that to me?'. and the first time i saw it, it made me 
catch my breath.
anyway, i'm going to pack my bag for tommorrow (does it always feel like new 
term school, this kind of thing? that you must have your new geometry set 
tin or it will all go horribly wrong?)
so yes. adios, and surprising rainbows to all of you

xsoph

*
'I've fallen so far
For the people you are
I just need your star for a day...'
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