Sinister: French fancies and mouldy pancakes

[Lucy Alder]

Mmm, there's nothing like a long weekend to make you really, really, really not want to go to work
after it.  But ah, the picnic was a goodie.  Some mad Greek girl with the long, dark locks has
finally made it over to London, so that made the picnic even nicer.  But this one's destined to go
down in history as 'the picnic where it pissed down', for it did.  And then some.  My red knickers
got damp in a thoroughly un-smutty way.  But talking of smut, David Moore wrote

> Honey would have been gratified by the snatch snogging in the park.

Well!  I'm sure Miss Honey would have been gratified, because she's a lady who likes it dirty, but
had I seen such a thing, I would have put a stop to it straight away with a few sharp bashes from
my handbag.  Kids these days!  In public!

On Saturday, I wore tights with seams up the back and my very highest heels and danced the night
away to boogiemusic spun by Chris G and Richard C.  Particularly amusing was the young man who
thought Mark C was in B&S and proceeded to congratulate him on such a fine album.  Ha!  I stole a
poster from the ladies' even though it wasn't allowed, cos I'm a rebel, I am.

Oh, and there's proper, pertinent content coming up right now.  I've had a good old rummage around
in the archives and I can't find any references to this, so here goes...

Last Saturday, I was staying with my Mum and Dad in Woking, so I thought I'd go into the local
second hand record shop and talk Northern Soul with the nice man behind the counter.  I rifled
through some boxes of singles, discussed the merits of various compilation albums and he offered
to make a tape for me (my sister pointed out that this has Significance in High Fidelity but I
think he was just being nice).  Then, he mentioned he had a box set of three videos about Northern
Soul.  "They're really crap," he said, "but if you'd like to borrow them and bring them back next
time you come in the shop, you'd be very welcome to".  What a nice man!  So I took them home and
put the first one on and verily it was crap.  The person who made it (Ian Levine, former Northen
DJ and East 17 manager, yes indeed) went to the States and filmed old Northern Soul sensations
miming to their record of thirty-odd years ago in their front room or in the local park.  Then,
remember those rave videos you used to get with dodgy kaleidoscopic effects on them?  He's gone
and added those over the top.  And Doris Troy has a magic colour-change dress!  

Then, about twenty minutes into the first video, what do you know?  Up pop Mr Chris G and Miss
Isobel C!  Chris talks about the first time he went to a Northern club and how the DJs talk
between records and then he breaks out into very disturbing, high pitched laughter. 
Teeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeeeee!  Just like that!  Isobel just sits there looking purty.  The
legend reads "Belle & Sebastian Winners of the 1999 Brit Award for Best New Band They Love
Northern Soul", no punctuation or anything.  Like I said, it's a crap video, apart from one bit,
but that goes without saying.  Actually, there might be more than one bit of interview but I
haven't even finished the first video yet, so if there is I will report back.  And if you're
interested in getting hold of the set of videos, it's called The Strange World Of Northern Soul
and I haven't got the foggiest where you can get it from or how much it would cost.  There, wasn't
that informative?

Brier Random talked about Mirah's loveliness and I'd like to second that.  She has the voice of an
angel.  If you'd like to verify for yourself, you might like to try going to
http://www.indiepopradio.com and having a listen because she often pops up on the playlist. 
That's the only time I'm ever going to mention indiepopradio because I've already blathered on
about it to my mates for weeks and they'll hit me if I don't shut up soon.  But I think it's quite
good.

Yay!  The footie season has started again!  I know that's a bit of a delayed reaction, but my
team, the magnificent Woking FC, started off with two defeats so those matches didn't count
(honest).  They're not the church mice of the Conference, but they ain't rich.  Even so, if we
could afford Figo, I doubt we'd want him because we've got one of the Greats Of World Literature
instead.  I found this at http://www.cardsweb.co.uk

DANTE IMPRESSIVE FOR RESERVE TEAM
Dante Alighieri must surely be pushing Rob Hollingdale for that left wingback slot in the first
team - he turned in another impressive performance for the reserve team against Hampon & Richmond
Borough on Wednesday night. 

Move him to the first team post haste, I say.  And while on the subject of football, weren't
Rangers and Celtic playing at the weekend?  What was the score again?

Blimey, what a long'un!

Lucy x


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