Sinister: the ripe mango of violence! i never mention belle and sebastian...ever.

[Steven Kado]

i havn't written since october...
not that you lot really deserve my trenchant insight since radiohead was
being discussed almost recently.

how good is blake?  he is great.  he should join a nerd-trauma-intelligence
band and send tim kinsella back to film school/semiotics class and then take
over the wounded nerd subgenre.  it would be so for real.

i like to brush my teeth.  it makes them feel all clean and good and yr
breath doesn't smell like food but like menthol cigarettes and that is just
so rad yes?  and after all good manners and bad breath get you
nowhere...right....

so i had this dream, where i found many articles in online journals which
were exactly what i needed to write up this essay i'm writing for anthro
class, then i had something to eat and went home from the library.  at home
i did some other things and then brushed my teeth.  but then when i went to
spit i still had this really dry icky stale toothpaste taste in my mouth.
so i sucked up a whole batch of saliva and spat that out...and then at the
moment of expectoration i woke up!

few things are more terrifying than opening your eyes with your own spit
suspended in air directly above your face just as it is about to start its
downward descent.  oh fearful spit parabola!  why do i sleep on my back and
dream liquid things!  being like mcgyver I immediately thought of catching
the airborne expectorate back in my mouth, but i only half got it, and this
big blobby chunk of gross spit landed on my chin.  it was a disgusting way
of waking up.

i work in a record store now.  but i work in the classical section of a very
large coproration recordstore.  so its not quite the dream come true record
store job.  downstairs in the 'rock/alternative' section someone has drawn
moustaches on all the plastic covers of swansong for you.  isobel with a
dali moustache? isobel with a hitler stache?  mmmm...so appealing...

and i didn't do it either.

so when did papas fritas become adult contemporary?  i'm sure someone will
pull the bullshit 'band should try new things and not stay the same blah
blah blah penis blah blah'  move but i still don't think that means that a
band is allowed to try being crappy for a while.  thats not a good new thing
to try.

why are fall cds mastered from scratchy dirty vinyl?  who's idea was that?
did MES sell the master tapes for drinks?

my aunt in vancouver died and i am completley unable to attend the funeral.
which makes me mad.  the problem with work and university bereavement
policies is that they don't allow for people to have funerals at times which
are merely inconvenient to you academically, instead of ones that directly
interfere.  if the funeral was on an exam day that would be one thing, but
since its just before the beginning of exams i;d have to take time out of
studying to go and would get no loving break from the university for
grieving let alone the time it will take to get to allmighty fucking
vancouver and back!  its like i should pick up some drugs while i'm there
and sell/do them to make some return on the whole sorry escapade since
school would be fucked.  fuck that shit.  grrr fuck. aaarrrh

when i wrote shit above it came out as this, a word which has all the same
letters but is infact completey different.  am i turning dyslexic?  is it
possible to so become?

i got told off for playing scary 20th century music in the store and
scarring the
grannies today.  its funny that being in the 20th century section isn't
really contingent on when the composer was born, just whether or not its
'pretty' music or not.  john rutter who is still alive is with the rest of
the classical world, in behind resplighi and such but poor dead ugly morton
feldman is off in the grotto of 'new music' where the middle aged can safely
avoid ever having to even gaze on his very quiet records ever.  grrr.  if
they're going to make the distinction between scary and not scary music then
they should get rid of the bogus classification by centuries thing and get
on with it.  maybe they could just have a 'music we all dislike except for
steven and those composition students'  section.  that would be ok, at least
then the bias would be out in the open, instead of concealed in hateful
lying language and bogus historical categorisation.

my wittgenstein professor has some really interesting dreams...his most
recent one went like this.   there were aliens (this is just a fact, they
weren't actually visible to him) and they were surrounding him, so he had to
reach for this object.  he then fell out of bed and hit his face on the
corner of his dresser.   he has this big cut on his face.

another night his wife also told him that he had been very loudly talking in
his sleep about saving an old art deco restaurant from demolition with
former toronto mayor john sewell.

really its his wife i pity in all this the most.

by the way, if anyone wants to help me understand later wittgenstein's
thought  (PI, brown and blue books and On Certainty) with an eye towards
what would make a good/useful essay...and if you can work Mikail Bahktin
into it too, that would be so rad.  just give me a thesis or at least some
kind of encouragement and i'll do all the rest.  this is a really urgent
appeal, if you know anything at all about ol ludwig other than the saucy gay
bits that happened at night in parks in vienna (which just aren't useful to
me right now) please really really help me out with this oK?

lisa morrison and chris lampien would be a nice couple no?  they could be
smutty at eachother and evey so often they could get someone in to clean
their fluids off the walls.

she also mentioned bikini kill like she was the only person who has any punk
action spirit at all.  i say: fuck no!  i've been rocking the sartorially
natty secret language speaking/bomb throwing/schedule wrecking and public
necking NOU life-style since highschool and there's no sign of me stopping
ever.  Even if the mighty nation has disbanded into more mobile (upward) and
less effective units i still hold the true fire aloft!  i refuse, no matter
how good the make up get, to ever think of them as even slightly better.
grrr.  (i think bikini kill is a good way of getting to mention the NOU, esp
since no one ever ever ever mentions the other greatest entertainer of the
nineties ODB on the list anymore, why?)...so yes.  i just felt the need,
during this my panicked essays and exam time to assert my hardcoreness.
arrrr.


sorry about this all,

s t e v e n

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