Sinister: Dr. tweeom bakepert, who? and spiders wave like pansies!

[alana J GIANNI]

D/ Dr Who 
Sarah Garret Sonner crashlanded into our list of top
ten posters the other day. Among other things she
mentioned how Tom Baker refers to himself as "the
ultimate Dr Who", which is peculiar as we had the
misfortune to hear Jon Pertwee’s Christmas single
recently, and he also refers to himself as the
ultimate Doctor. They can’t both be right. We
personally side with Pertwee, not only for his
dandyism, but also because his surname suggests he is
both pert and twee, a combination we find
irresistible.

hogwash i say! bullock.! we all know that tom baker is the king of all
DR.'s his cunning portrail of dr. who  with all his wittiness and talk of
sonic screw drivers!(that thing has gotten ol' tom out of many a
jams!)and im still not sure how that thing works. his frizzy hair and
multicolored scarf and hat. you cant forget the hat. come on. hes been in
way more episodes the pertwee. four years in fact. more run ins with
cybermen, daleks, and giant city stomping robots. when you think "Dr.
Who" you dont think oh of course Mr. Jon Pertwee! you think Tom Baker,
the fourth and greatest Dr. of them all! i see your game you rouge!
trying to win us over with your talk of pert and twee! haha. not i. i
wont be so easily subdued like a hindu cow. 

anyway, "you were waitress in a cocktail bar, when i met you. i picked
you out i shook you up i turned you around. turned you into someone new
now five years later on youve got the world at your feet success has been
so easy for you well dont forget it was me who put you where you are  now
and i can put you back down too........"
-HL

sun is up hanging right in my eyes its illustrious beams of light. having
tried to avoid her beaming stare. she makes me feel so strange. trees
bare if not all then some of their naked branches. soft frost accumulates
upon my rear view mirror and i say to my chum, "lets drive to hammonton!"
and on this particularly long drive to hammonton, i managed to doze off
in the vans "lacking lumbar support" seat.  and in this dozing, i managed
to conjure up a vivid dream. a dream of large spiders bumbling bout my
hair and finger tips. the voice of my chum calls out', "joe, you have
spiders in your hair!!!" my chum being deathly afraid of spiders, dares
not come closer then his glance. then something weird happened. i was
sleeping with my eyes opened the whole time facing george(thats chums
name) and there really was a spider creeping about the top of my scull.
at this point i still thought this was some strange dream. george began
to "poke" me to wake thus getting rid of his phobia arachnid. i woke up
screaming in the end because in my dream george was a giant furry spider
poking my side with his furry arm. then he screamed because he didnt see
where the spider went and feared it may have landed on him. so for your
entertainment...picture if you will...two grown men...driving in a
van...down a dark highway...with a spider perched upon ones head...and
the other screaming.    eventually he pulled to the side while
screaming"smash it! kill it! ahhhhh! is it gone? ahhhh!" but of course i
didnt. i put the frightened spider on the road side. and i swear it waved
goodbye!  


syke.

the moral of the story is dont drive with a spider on top your head down
a dark road while sleeping with your eyes opened and dont do drugs.

thank you

joe.
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