Sinister: beach balls,talking watches and greenclaws.......

[Desmond Torpey]

heeeeeelo sinister people......
.....hmmmmmm.....er......i never know how to start
posts......ooohhh....er.....how about this.......

**********WOW!!!! ITS THE START OF THE
POST!!!*********
........was that dramatic and suitably attention
grabbing?...probably not but i shall continue....does
anyone in the world actually enjoy house parties? or
is it just me?....i went to a horrible one on friday
where there were lots of dodgy type people looking
mean and dodgylike....it started off okay....i just
sat on the fridge,drank luke warm beer and tried to
fend off a strange man who was trying to show me his
talking watch...which didnt talk....it
bleeped....quietly.....but then it all turned nasty
and lots of egos clashed.....which resulted in people
being hit,shouty things being shouted and bodies being
forcibly ejected....i cowardly (or cunningly as i like
to think) hid upstairs in one of the bedrooms and
listened to bernard butler until things had calmed
down....at least it was quite eventful....unlike other
parties where i usually just end up slumped drunkenly
on a scabby sofa having a conversation with a mad (and
usually dribbling) pissed person while everyone else
is having a good time...or at least doing very good
impressions of having a good time......oh well....

yayayayaayayayyyaayayayaay content!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.....has anyone heard the song by.....er.....i forget
the name now...but its got a certain mr murdoch
singing on it....thats probably not much help.....i
just dont think anyones mentioned it and i wondered if
it did exist or i was going mad.....its got single of
the week in the nme if thats any help.....anything
else?....erm....oh i did bring 'lazy line painter
jane' to the party but i was terrified to put it on in
case my head was subsequently used as a beach ball by
the dodgy people.....

.....i've done it again at college....seen the
greatest girl in the world (how many can i see before
that statement becomes a lie?) and got scared to talk
to her in case of befuddlement,embarressment and
general ohmygodwhatthehellamidoing type
situations....i'll probably just wander around hoping
she suddenly feels the need to urgently talk to
me....grrrrrrrrrrrr i'm so inadequate....another case
of unrequited love to chalk up.....i'm turning into a
serial stalker....but at least i move on
quickly....anyone could be next!
mwhahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!....that was my best
creepy stalker type person evil laugh......it just
came out a strangled squawk....hmmmmmmm.......

...does anyone remember a kiddies programme called
'greenclaws'?......it was about a big green
monster/gardener who had magic seeds and told stories
about his amazingly large family....great uncle
stuntman claws,great aunt nuclear reactor worker claws
and so on......the reason i ask is to settle a bet
with someone....i only caught a glimpse of it this
afternoon and it was something about seaweed but i
need to know about owls.....yes i know my life is
empty and at times laughably pathetic but theres a
fiver riding on this dammit!....i maintain that there
was a clockwork owl involved somewhere....i dont know
how and i dont know why but it was involved
somewhere....my friend stubbornly denies the poor owls
existence and i need that cash!.....any help would be
much appreciated...i'll send you a slice of the
takings.....possibly.....in fact you may just get a
lollipop.....no in fact sod it you'll get nothing.....
but i still need help....pleeeease.....

...thats it for now peeps...i hope youve enjoyed this
small slice of westcountry life....who needs the
archers eh?....or is that set in
leeds?....hmmmmmmm....
ta ta!

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