Sinister: john peel,german porn stars and chocolate coins....

[Desmond Torpey]

greetings sinisterines.....
excuse me while i let out a little bit of
frustration..

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

....ahem...sorry about that but this the fourth time
i've attempted to write this mail...i curse you in a
rude way and shake my fist in your direction NTL..you
may have john peel doing your advertisements but dont
take liberties....i know everyone is probably sick of
the festive season but dont you just hate wet
christmases?..all the decorations in town just look
soggy and bemused rather than chilly and
festive...crimbo isnt crimbo if you all your fingers
havent turned black and dropped off before you've had
a chance to eat so much as a chocolate coin....

...i gave a tall septic person a tape of 'tigermilk'
and 'iyfs' today in an attempt to convert him...i dont
hold out much hope though...when i once played him 'we
rule the school' he proclaimed it to be "pixie
bollocks"...i dont fully understand what he meant but
it is rather a good description when you think about
it....i am quite proud to be a lover of pixie bollock
music......

...i had some fantabyolouswonderful news this
week....i have joined a band!......i was in one before
called Miss Marple but we never practiced,nobody could
sing and the single acoustic guitar snapped in half
after a drunken fall....so that was a bit of a
non-starter....this band is called Monkey Wah Wah and
they are genuinly fantastic...i'm playing drums for
them and had a practice with the guitarist/singer on
Friday....and on Monday i went to see them play and i
can safely say it was the most surreal and exciting
thing i have seen in live music in Swindon for oh such
a long time....but when you consider that the most
exciting event before that was the famous day ocean
colour scene came to town its not such a great
acheivement...but they were still wow.....if you
imagine the velvet underground had made ash's 1977
thats what they sound like ( i could work for the nme
couldnt i?.... or maybe not)...but the icing on the
cake was the german porn star compere called Jurgen
Milkfloat....decked out in medallions and snakeskin
leather trousers he announce each band with throaty
groans and gratioutous crotch grabbing....and every
now and again he would peform a song of his own to a
cheesy eighties synth backing....it was hard to make
out the precise lyrics but one song went along the
lines of "OOOHHHH!!! SHE WAS LIKE A RIPENED PEACH!"..
the evening ended with Monkey Wah Wah's singer beating
his decrepid guitair against the amp,the violinist
looking ice-queen like and very alluring and Jurgen
himself attempting to match his saturday night fever
style wiggles to the onslaught of noise coming from
the stage....i am extremely glad i've joined....but a
bit scared.....heheheheh.....

.... its goodbye from me until after christmas so i'm
giving everyone on the list a big snog under the
misletoe whether they like it or not......no dont run
away!!...just a peck then??.....
ta ta!!

PS : i've just read this back and decided to leave the
spelling of 'septic' in...it sounds better....like a
fifties b movie...." ATTACK OF THE SEPTIC MAN
".....ahem.....

PPS : that subject lines a recipe for scandal if ever
i saw one....bubye!!

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