Sinister: The strangest form of literary criticism

[Sarah Duston]

Well, I am on my own...I've decided to hazard a post
without my sidekick, or wait, I am the sidekick! The
Dynamic duo is split in two! 

Not to worry though, Leyla & I will post together
again...it's just... I have things to say...

In response to Martin's witty post that made me laugh
on more than one occasion:

>"As Arthur Koestler once said himself "If the creator
>had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely
>meant us to stick it out." But I'm not sure he
>thought the same about pigeon's arses."

This is quite a clever retort to a pigeon indeed! So,
here's a poem by R.A. Higgins in honor of their arses
that has nearly complete irrelevance to your post
(except for the vocabulary):

He Fought Pigeons' Arses, Didn't He?
...
And he said to her 
'If its war you want 
I'll give you war.
We'll have our own war,
Spraying the arses of dead pigeons black
and we'll fight seven days out of six.

And the seventh day of the six
we'll discuss the situation,
and I'll bet you
twenty black pigeons' arses
there'll still be nothing
but lust between us.'

The moral of this poem by Rita Ann Higgins is (in it's
most condensed form): love is as futile as spraying
the arses of dead pigeons black. Now that is waxing
poetic!
I wonder if the astute Professor Pigeon will try to
have a go at that!

Speaking of Professors:
I made my favorite professor a tape of Belle and
Sebastian with a carefully compiled repertoire that
spans the whole of their work, beginning with
Tigermilk, moving in a flowing manner through the EP's
and IYFS to end with the high moments of TBWTAS. I
completed this tour de force of a tape with some
choice Looper for the final piece de resistance. How's
that for something worth listening to? 
This professor specializes in Irish studies (mainly
working on the esoteric writings of Yeats) and is
interested in modern Scottish literature. So, I
thought that this music would be appropo (considering
the Scottish interests and I once mentioned that
Bernard MacLaverty's daughter Ciara is the cover star
for IYFS and she was quite impressed). But, she still
hasn't commented on the tape--it has been nearly two
months, and I feel to silly to ask...so, what to do?

Hmmm...
Today I bought myself some lovely orchids, of white
and turquoise. A woman at the check-out said after
inquiring what I was doing (buying flowers,
obviously), "It's sad to see such a pretty girl buying
herself flowers. You should get your boyfriend to do
that!"
This bothered me a bit, but I just smiled and said
something ridiculously reminiscent of 'times gone by'
about how boys don't buy flowers these days (what the
hell do I know? I'm not about to tell her about my
single status). Then as another defensive action to
ease her wary stare, I added that I wasn't intending
on waiting for anyone to buy them for me. 
She shook her head in dismay, and I just stood there
feeling stupid.
(Why can't I buy myself flowers without the hassle?
Last time I tried, the check-out boy felt compelled to
ask me out with an argument along the same lines.)
She then proceeded to eye me cautiously, as if to say
'Watch out for the girl who can buy herself flowers!'
I walked out of the store wondering what statement is
being declared in the action of buying flowers. Was I
claiming some sort of independence? What is this world
coming to when girls start buying *themselves*
flowers? 
 
*Well, there you go: Pigeons' arses, mute but critical
Professors, and check-out line humiliation.
Where are you Leyla??*

Cheers All,
Sarah

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