Sinister: I feel alright when you smile

[Alasdair Cook MC1996]

Hello, hello, it's good to be cack. 

Martin's riposte to his flighty nemesis was very clever and all, but to
no avail, for as everyone knows these birds only speak pidgeon English.
Ne'er mind. He said I was great so I forgive him his foolishness.

Oh, and keep away from that Casarotto boy, if you wish to retain your
sanity. In agreeing with everything I have ever said (?) I fear he has
finally flipped his shiny lid. I knew it was only a matter of time. 

My computer is currently playing nasty tricks on me and inserting extra
spaces whenever it feels like it. This is troubling, however I shall
persevere. 

My favourite item of fashion at the moment is my sister's new "Little
Miss Naughty" bra, which is very nice indeed. However I doubt a picture
will be forthcoming for Erica's fashion page. Still, I may get round to
snapping my red t-shirt at some point in the future.

Di shouldn't be worried about her dreams, as I can always top anyone
with more disturbing ones. Recently I dreamt that Tim Hopkins was a
gangland hard-man who went around duffing people up and bought Heaven 17
records in Debenhams. You can't even buy records in Debenhams! I am
disturbed. 

Moira:

> Speaking of Glasgow, I have to say that the 13th Note is one of my favorite
> places in the whole wide world.  Anyone who lives in or has been to Glasgow
> (and also the 13th Note) will agree with me because it's one of those
> undeniable truths.

This is an undeniable truth, cos it's also one of my favouritest places
in the whole universe. Where else can you find the chorus to "Race for
the Prize" scrawled on the toilet door? To the one person that really
annoys, sorry. And ha, ha.

Fiona:
> i still 
> never learnt my times tables after all its best efforts, and look at 
> me now - a maths student!!! (well half of one anyway)

What's your other half? I'm guessing it's an otter, but I could be
wrong. Imagine having an otter's hind quarters. You'd be able to swim
quite well, although you'd probably have to have some sort of operation
if you wanted to walk upright. An ice-breaker at parties, however. "Yes,
I'm in telecommunications.........oh, and I have the bum of an otter".
"I notice you're half otter; does this entitle you to extra benefits?"
"You'd think, wouldn't you?"

Apparently scientists have just found some rare hairy-nosed otters,
which they thought were  extinct. Which is good.

Michele:
> This made me think about the Beats, and what was happening then... and it
> made me think of today and things how they are, and why it looks like some
> periods of time are more "intense" or "exciting" than others. 

I was thinking about this, about how I often think I would have liked to
be the age I am now when the Smiths were around or when REM started, but
then I thought hang on a sec, if I was ten years younger I bet in ten
years time I would want to be this age now, and enjoy seeing the heyday
of B&S more than anything else. I think you understand what I mean. I'm
sure I could put in a quote by Elizabeth Smart or someone about nothing
else existing except NOW, but I'm too stupid to think of one.

Erica:
> There was a huge JELLY WRESTLING contest at school yesterday

What kind of school do you go to, Scarlet dear? Does this kind of thing
happen at schools around the country, or is it only Erica's twisted
place of learning?

Toby:
> B n S/ B n S Tee 
> I only ve Tigermilk,TBWTAS and TIJAMRS.
> I luv B n S so much
> Wanna get the Tee. It is a good tee for a good band. I think Blur's Tee 
> is Bad Tee for a Good Band. Some Oasis Tee is Good Tee for a bad band.

I just need someone to explain this to me, if possible. Does it have
something to do with golf?

Paul:
> Go and buy tompaulin's 7" on action records (www.action-records.co.uk)
> It's called ballad of the bootboys b/w wedding song.

I've never heard it but I agree. I'm guessing the drumming is very good.

After hearing of the Daily Record appeal I suddenly have the urge to
send them an old beer mat with the words "Fuck You" scrawled over it. I
don't know why. Word of mouse activism: good!

DMC UK:
> The Foxgloves were also tops - their first electric set provoking an
> entirely spontaneous & unrehearsed "Judas!" "I don't believe you, you're a
> liar!" exchange between Trousers & Hopkins.

I only repeat this cos it's the funniest thing I've read in ages.
However, though most people believe the gig actually took place in The
Poetry Cafe in London, it actually "happened" in a chip shop in Swindon.

Ellen:
> amused to find that you're  all spelling english like the children i
> teach at school- "grate", "gurl".

As I always say, if you can't trust Sarah Clarke and Alex Chilton, who
can you trust? Not me anyway.

I feel I should leave you with something thought-provoking and profound,
but I can only think of this:

If the moon is made of cheese, couldn't we use it to trap giant
space-mice?

Alasdair XX

"The copy and paste bonanza boy"
"Surprisingly light as a feather"
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