Sinister: a twisted friar's tartare

[Joss]

Hello.
I'm Joss. I've been here for some time, peering at you all. 
Some of you pick your nose.
Hark at that Stuart David, then. Going straight to the NME with his tales of
leaving B&S. I'll bet he's been dying to do tons of interviews but he had to
wait until he got away from that mumsie Stuart Murdoch. 
He'd say "I think I'll go talk to Select and Sounds and Record Mirror today,
Murdoch" to which Stu M would doubtless reply "awww.. no no, wittle man. stay
heew, and i will put wittle pigtails in your haiw."
"Ow! My hair's too short for bleeding pigtails..."
"Pish and double-pish, Ronnie", Stu D would later say to his ever-faithful cousin
who would give a wheezy laugh at grumpy old Stuart.
"Will we ever be set free?" 
And finally they have. You can't but be pleased for the old curmudgeon. 
I just worry as to how Genevieve is going to take it. 

Props indeed to Mr Kevan to rescuing a pigeon. I rescued one recently too as
some scumbags tried to kick the poor beggar. Far more impressive, though, is
my attempted tiger theft. When I was about 10 I was brought to the circus where
they had a little zoo out back. There was a cage full of the cutest little tiger
cubs and when I pulled the door it turned out to be open. So I nabbed one of
the little fellers and stuffed him in my jacket from where he poked his head
out and licked my chin. On the way back to the car I started to think about
how big he'd grow and how maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all so I
brought him back. When I was outside the pub trying to stop the obnoxious drunks
kicking the poor pigeon it occurred that if I had a tiger I could've had him
bite their stupid faces off. But then, they wouldn't allow me bring a tiger
to the pub so I would've had to stay at home and the pigeon would've been rightly
fucked. So I like to think that everybody's better off as things are.

Mad props to Owen for being nice about my name and proving diaryesque postings
can be a good thing if your life sounds like the plot from a pornographic film,
Cynthia for being nice about my cow game and the delicious Miss Honey for being
the delightful Miss Honey.
Cheerio now.
xx
Joss

_____________________________________________
Scientific Laboratories Records
http://www.thumped.com/scilabs
http://www.esatclear.ie
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