Sinister: Being Single

[Martin Robinson]

The following goes out to all you lovely, special people out there who
find themselves alone on a day like this. Yes, it's an excuse for a crap
list, and it's called "10 GRATE reasons to be single":

1: You can do what you want when you want. Well if your mum lets you
anyhow...

2: Everyday has potential to be that special day when you meet your own
special someone.

3: You can have a crush on someone different everyday and variety, not
Emma Bunton, is the spice of life after all. 

4: You don't have to go into shops you otherwise wouldn't dream of going
into and spend important beer money on presents.

5: You don't often argue with yourself about whether eating dog biscuits
is a good thing.

6: You don't have to go meet his / her friends and pretend to like them
and get in trouble in a conversation about fast cars when you say you
always wanted a milk float.

7: You can justifiably spend every day wallowing in misery playing your
favourite Morissey / Joy Division records.

8: When hampered by single-itis your friends and family tend to overlook
your alcohol / smoking / obsessive about music / lack of career / not
doing your homework / not tidying your room / kettle fetish problems.

9: You can sleep on both sides of the bed and not have to hold your
farts in, and even smell them under the sheets if that's your bag.

10: No one can lean over and breathe on you in the morning only for you
to find their breath smells of coleslaw.

11: You can make silly lists of why it's GRATE to be single. Maybe. And
you don't get in trouble when you can't count.

Love and hugs, especially to those who need them.

Te ra

Martin

ear confection recordings
(http://www.send.demon.co.uk)



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