Sinister: smut city.

[Denise Power]

Oh list !


What am I doing, I'm turning into the narrow wizard, thats what. 
There was a departmental do on last night, an inaugural or something and
free wine made me a very silly naughty girl. 

There was a guy in a box controlling the lights and what on that were
going on through out the obligatory lecture that preceded the free
wine. He was so lovely. I think he may have been the best looking boy I've
ever seen in my life. 

Me and a girl from the dept went into the box and *cringe * in no
uncertain terms offered our services. 

He called us weird and was very scared. Then I left and that girl
pretended she kissed him while I was gone. I got insanely jealous and
wouldn't leave him alone after that. I sort of climbed onto his knee
and everything. While the girl was there he said he had a girlfriend
called ciara and went the girl left he told me he didn't have a
girlfriend. Something deep within in me prevented me from hopping on
him. I think it was the feeling of imminent failure.
 
Reader, he rejected me. It was so humiliating. I think I loved him for a
minute. I even cleared the hall for him of my colleagues and
contemporaries so he could go to a party with his girlfriend. I even stole
someones hat so I would have an excuse to go back into the little
box. they miraculously got their hat back and my silly antics resulted in
him telling me to "get the fuck out of [his] office."


Sob !


Wait, it gets worse. We all went onto a wine bar then and I ended up
crying a few times because that girl was annoying me so much. At one point
I did actually leave the wine bar because I hated her to bits and I walked
down the street and gave a begger all my change but then I took a pound
back, I think for bus fare. We got talking and he told me lots of possibly
made up stories of how he got to Ireland, he was australian. His name was
roy. His stories were very entertaining though. I said, I don't want to be
rude mr. hobo but whats it like being a begger. He didn't take offence or
anything and told me that it was good. He wasn't even cold and it was a
pretty freezy night. I said, where next, america ? because he has been
everywhere else. Then he said he never heard the word hobo before. I said,
are you joking or what ? Then he asked me to marry and got kind of
insistent. I lied and said I had a boyfriend and laer forgot and told him
about the boy in the box. He laughed and laughed at that. 

As we sat there , no one gave him money. I think that was because he told
me he'd share it with me anything we got while I was there, as a down
payment on the dowry. Maybe I looked too rich to be a begger. I told him,
he'd make a packet if he went to edinburgh to be a begger because they
do. He thanked me for the advice and told me to stop fighting with the
girl and enjoy the night anyway, to go back in there and just ignore her
if she was mean. I asked him to come but he declined. I said that when we
were leaving the bar I'd wave and say hi roy and he could say Hi Dee and
everyone would be well impressed with me. But when we did eventually come
out he was gone.

I went back into the bar and came out of the toilet at the exact same time
as my lecturer. Hes australian too so I told him about roy. He said roy
was probably not homeless at all and I was silly to belive his stories,
that all australians are liars.
I grimaced when he said that. Then I asked him about a certain rumour
which was circulating (about us) he said there was no truth in the rumours
at all. I breathed a sigh of relief. I then showed off my excellent
journalistic skills and told him what dirt I had on him. Then it was his
turn to grimace, I had him bad. He was shocked at my knowledge of his lewd
and lascivious dealings with his students.

Then I went back to the table with him where I made him buy cigerettes. I
was finding myself hugely attracted to him, which at the same time
repulsed me so I started talking to a random stranger. 

I can't remember the random stranger's name but he was spanish and he told
me he had a girlfriend even though he later tried to kiss me. (But I let
him briefly)
He told me the funny story , through broken english of how he came with
his friend to the wine bar and his friend assumed that he was gay and
tried to set him up with a closet gay married man of 50. the gay man had
just left because whatever his name was told him that he did not wantto be
a rent boy. AS we were talking the gay man came back and gave me a look of
hatred. For some reason I started to kiss his hand. It must be really hard
to be gay and be married, I was so ridiculously drunk at this stage, I
don't know what I started to blubber.
Gay man left and me and spanish boy started kissing. I made him stop
because it was in bad taste in a place like that and I didn't want  my
lecturer to see. I really didn't like spanish boy at all and was tiring of
his broken english so I said I had to talk to my colleagues. I sat beside
my lecturer and said, resuce me. When spanish boy tried to take me back,
he
got very rude to him so spanish boy left. At one stage lecturer put his
hand on my knee and I realised I was really really after some of the s
word at this stage. It was really hard trying to control myself , be
dignified for the masses. A gang of us all went back to the lecturers
place and this other boy, (I really do sound like the narrow wizard) who
was sitting beside me started rubbing the side of my leg subtely as a
political discussion raged between the others. 
I got scared that the lecturer would see and didn't remotely fancy him so
moved far away. Its weird though because everyone thinks he is really good
looking and fancies him but I think he looks like an axe murderer and
don't find it that appealing. I think he thought something was going to
happen because as we were going for a taxi, I stopped to talk to some
scottish boys in kilts and got a shock when I saw their willies. Then one
of them pinned me to the gates of stephens green and even though Iwasn't
scared the others thought I was and sent axe murderer boy over to rescue
me. I think I may have been a little over exurberant in my thanking him
for the rescue even though I didn't mind the scottish boys pranks at all ,
I'm very fond of my scottish counterparts even if they are ugly.
Well anyway, the conversation about parliamentary politics soon came to a
close and the boys made their exits. Then was no point in me going
anywhere because I live so very far away so I stayed on lecturers sofa. 
I heard him going to the toilet and said , did you wash your hands ? as a
private joke between us , he lingered in the hallway making silly comments
, timewasting ones so that I wouldn't hassle him. In a completely
contrived manner I went out "to make sure" he washed them and for some
reason jumped into his bed. Despite all our silliness beforehand , I think
this surprised him and I realised he really was tired. I gave him a hiccy
anyway and this morning he started giving out saying that it left a mark. 
I didn't care though, I told him to say it was a heat rash. He made me not
walk with him to college and I had to take a different route which took a
very long time. I don't know if he thinks I fancy him or not. I don't
now...yuk...but I really did then. MAybe he thinks I was just teasing
him. I'm not afraid of him though. Hes afraid of me. Ha ha ha .

Today I found out that I failed my fire alarm test which means I have to
repeat that, if I fail again I lose my job. Grrr I hate having the threat
of losing my job hanging over my head. I haven't seen anyone yet today to
tell them that I failed my test and did silly things last night but it is
very early , I keep forgetting. 

Oh another funny thing was in the lecturers house he was playing awful
1920s music and I said put on the gentle waves, because see hes a real
snob and hates popular culture so I always take popular cultures side and
he said okay in a pleasaant way and put on soothing music he has of
dolphin sounds. At the time, I found this hilariously funny but its quite
poor I realise now. So there. Smut levels are almost as high as the time I
had three boyfriends at the same time, but that happened too long ago to
bring up. 

If you read this far, you are a completely pervvy person and have
disgusted me. 

 
_____________________________________________________________________________
Denise Power.



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