Sinister: subject? im kinda curious myself

[jason luther]

this must be one of the most diverse classes i have ever had. granted the
name is 'literature of ethnic america' and all, but should the topic of the
class describe the students who take it? most of the students, when i look
around, are white, but there is a deep mixture of minorities. a chinese
girl, who speaks mostly broken english sits way up in the front row. i can
tell she is very intelligent. she never talks about bull shit from china, or
similarities between them and the united states or anything like that, she
always talks about 'people'. it makes it easy to see that nationalities are
just classifications, people are people are people anywhere you go. there is
an older man from lebenon (who also sits in the front row), hes about 40-45
id say. also he is very intelligent. his english (although he still has an
accent) and his vocabulary are better than most anyone i know. i have
terrible english. i swear and stutter and fumble over words all the time.
its kinda humbling for someone who grew up speaking a different language, to
speak it so much better than i. there are also a few coloured students in my
class. please dont think i am prejudice, i just find this interesting. now,
i went to  predominantly white high school, and seldom had a class with
coloured students. having been going to college (university) for 4 years
now, im still getting used to it. the curriculum for the class includes a
few books by black authors (toni morrison, ernist j gaines...) , and a lot
of the subjects deal with poverty, prejudice and slavery. i often wonder
what the black students think when these issues are laid out in class
everyday. i am also embarrassed when the book reads 'nigger' and we have to
read it out loud in class. am i the only person who feels this? i really
dont want people to think i am prejudice, i really, really am not. before
class started today, a lady from mexico (she states all the time that shes
from there), who also by the way sits in the front row ( i sit toward the
back) was talking about her tax returns. now, it was real quiet in the room,
and she was talking real quiet so only the person she was talking to could
hear. heh heh. i wanted to speak up and say, "dont bother whispering, we all
can hear you." i know i could hear, and i think i have poor hearing, so im
sure everyone else heard too. theres this girl that sits way on the opposite
side of the class. i quite possibly could be infatuated with her (it takes
me a while to know) she is always dressed really well, and i think she may
have a lot of money (not that i really care), but she always looks nice and
clean and smart. aarrggg my prof is making us move to the front of the room,
now im surrounded by people i dont really like. there is this other girl
that kinda sits near me who has new sneakers. she keeps sticking her foot
out and posing them so she can get a good look at her new kicks, how
annoying. this one guy that always sits near me always sleeps, when hes not
though, hes always talking about his band. "were going to be the first band
signed off the internet", he blurted out today to his friend. he looks like
the kind of guy whos in some PANTS rock/rap band with the likes of limp
biscuit or something. im very green over this guy. i want a band, i dream of
it all the time. although i cant find anyone who plays anything ( i play
guitar and can sing fairly well), or who likes the same music as i. ggrrrrr
so im a little envious, who cares? theres this other guy, he thinks hes sooo
smart. his voice is kinda high pitched and annoying, and he always tries to
make these connections of things in the book and real life. they hardly make
any sense, hes soooo annoying. i think his voice is a large part of it. my
prof is like 30 years old, she isnt that attractive or anything, but she has
a real nice personality. so, on the first day of class, i decided to seduce
her ( i would never do anything, i thought it might be fun to try and
disrupt her teaching everytime she looked at me, and saw me gazing at her
[do i use too many commas?]). i know im attractive, and am rather high on
myself as well. but its a good high-on-ones-self, a healthy one, either that
or id be dead. so anyways, for like 4 class periods i never took my eyes off
of her. much to my demise, nothing ever happened. perhaps im not as
appealing as i think. im an unusual person, i know it, i kinda cherish it.
but looking around this classroom, i dont feel so unusual, everyone is
weird. it kinda depresses me. this is my cue to be even stranger. has anyone
else fallen in love with any of the characters from the beautiful belle and
sebastian songs? i relate to them well, i wish they were real people
(perhaps they are?) i would look for them, and say "hey, im just like you!".
thats all for now, my prof just said orgasm, i think i should be paying
attention.

haa haa haa another 4.78 minutes lost to me....sorry.....

jason the homo/heterogeneous

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