Sinister: Won't someone understand me, help me bear the strain, say you feel the same way, say I'm not to blame

[Alasdair Cook MC1996]

What a very good musical week. On Sunday Cinerama created quite a
pleasant racket, on Tuesday Arab Strap were miserably brilliant while
Stereototal were great P!O!P! from Germany, and on Wednesday Momus was
quite literally completely bonkers, and GRATE. And yesterday I saw
American Beauty, which has very little to do with music except for
having some good 60s/70s ROCK in it, but is still brill.

After Arab Strap I had to squeeze into a pub booth beside the ample
bottoms of StuM, Richard, Stevie, Sarah and Chris. B&S members, eh? You
don't see any for a while then 5 of the bastards turn up at once. I was
tempted to ask if the new album would EVER be finished, but thought it
wise to keep my mouth shut and not suffer a beating. Then who should I
see the next night, but Wee Karn and old StuD. He looked vaguely
contented.

First off, I'd reccomend anyone to enter any future competitions run by
The Gay Dirty Den, as the rewards for winning are many and varied. And
also give you the means to start your own band. Though since I have no
songs, I'll have to steal his Looper one which was quite simply
Iantastic. 

Starry and others who participated in the campaign to waste the Daily
Record's money for their Keep The Clause (Section 28) campaign will be
glad to know that the Record were duly swamped with all manner of
rubbish, including an old garden gate and a rancid mattress. Ho, ho.

The Sinister village, eh? Since I'm the head teacher, that also makes me
in charge of PE, so there will be no cricket or basketball teams, since
I'm rubbish at both sports. I have no idea why Velocity made me the
teacher (has anyone actually learned anything from me except how the
delete button on their keyboard works?) but I'd very much like to take
up the baton where Mr Bronson from Grange Hill left off, and generally
be really nasty and wear a wig. Actually, can I be the Pub Landlord
instead, much like Al Murray except a zillion times less funny? Jarkko
could do all the work for very little pay while all the profits
disappear down my gob. And I'd quite like to be on the footie team, if
Lucy will let me and if my dodgy knee ever gets better. The idea of Lucy
as big Ron Atkinson is one I find strangely appealing...

Jason L:
> they would rather listen to shit (i.e.
> limp biscuit, corn, and the like)

For goodness sake Jason, if you want to stay on Sinister you're going to
have to brush up on your metal knowledge. Write after me, Limp Bizkit
and Korn. Oh no, correcting spelling already! The transformation is
starting!

Do they allow internet access in mental asylums? I was just wondering
how Joe Brooker managed to send his posts.

Jenowl (who is the ultimate. Not the ultimate B&S fan, just the
ultimate) used the work 'moke' a lot. I'd like an explanation, please. I
suspect it's just one of those words you use at school and no-one over
the age of 20 knows what the hell it means, and when you're at school
you laugh at the old people for being old and not understanding
ANYTHING, as Jen is probably laughing at me now.

Two new listees I like:
Samantha for her email address and Francesca for saying > (i'm new love
me)
which immediately made me love her.

I also love George Dickie, because he said "I LOVE KIRSTY WARK", which
is quite possibly the funniest thing I have read ever in the world.

Ooh, I want to go to London so I can arse dance with Sarah and Leyla.
People usually say I look like an arse while dancing, but I think that's
a different thing.

Liz:
> So, to whoever put A Marriage Made In Heaven (is that really Isabella Rosselini?)
> on their tape twee offering, a big smacking kiss.  Mwah.  No, do not shy away 
> in fear!  I mean you no harm!

It was none other than the spiffingly grate Tim Gardner. The theme from
Fireball XL5 was another highlight of this wonderful tape.

Ian H:
> what do people think about the field mice?? 

Completely brilliant, if you ask me. Or completely shite, if you ask
Hopkins. 

Owen talked about his problem for a week of only being able to listen to
Joy Division. I too am suffering a similar obsession, but with The
Go-Betweens. If only they weren't such complete BLUDDY GENIUSES I'd be
able to listen to the new Yo La Tengo album, but as yet there seems to
be no let-up. 

Anyway, it IS Friday and in about 2 minutes I SHALL be in the pub.
Goodbye.

Alasdair xx

"That's just like me
 I'd evade waking up if the alarm wouldn't ring
 I'd walk into quicksand if I knew how far I'd sink"
-Robert Forster

"I'm not strong, I'm not brave"
-Grant Mclennan
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