Sinister: "If you're so funny, then why are you on your own tonight?" etc. (Morrissey)

[Colin Mowat]

Saturday 26 February 2000
22:06

Dear people

After suspecting that I'm the only listee who is in at this time on a
saturday night, alone (well two children asleep upstairs), but alone in the
sense of romantically alone,abandoned, apart, deserted, desolate, detached,
forlorn, forsaken, isolated, lonely, lonesome, only, separate, single, sole,
solitary, unaccompanied, uncombined and unconnected......OK, so I've got a
thesaurus on my PC, I've also got a pizza in the oven and think I can smell
it burning.....hang on, I'm gonna see if I can salvage it. Alright, so I've
got a thesaurus, a  Sainsbury's pepperoni pizza, three bottles of Spanish
lager, 17 left of a pack of Silk Cut and a hope that the girls wont awaken
until at least 8am. I now wish I hadn't looked up alone on the thesaurus -
it makes for grim internalisation. So I could phone their mother, but she's
probably getting screwed by her boyfriend.....yeah, I'll phone her......wait
a minute and I'll let you know if I was right...........said she was in
bed..going to sleep......! Don't get me wrong we have a very good
relationship, it was our wedding anniversary yesterday, she dragged out
leaving for five months of Hell and finally went two weeks ago.......the
first week was difficult, but not as difficult as living together over the
past months, and this week's been much better, and that's in some part due
to a listee who's helped me through - thankyou.

Any way......Music - and pain and love and loss and romance and
tears.......and Christ this pepperoni hot, just off to the fridge to get
another lager......that's better, but I can't finish the pizza, if any of
you want it mail me and I'll post it on, although I think it will need to be
wrapped in some kind of special packaging that has probably been developed
by NASA for use on the Space Shuttle.....Sainsbury's pepperoni pizza, eat it
at your peril.

Ah, yes....better mention music. OK, so I'm not the only person in the world
or probably on the list who's long-term (in my case nine years and two
children) relationship has suffered from corrosion, in this case the
chemical reaction was between her and someone she works with (sound
familiar).........so I'm not saying I had nothing to do with this and that I
didn't contribute to our demise, I just wont lay my failings before you
unless pushed........

music, music, music..........so what got me through the last 5 months -
here's a list, and if you ever find yourself similarly appraised try
listening to.........

1. David Gray - White Ladder(album) - Please forgive me / Babylon / We're
not right

2. ABC - The Lexicon of Love - the whole bloody album

3. The Smiths - The Queen is Dead(album) - I know it's over....and a
multitude of others spread over albums

4. Gil Scott-Heron - Glory(album) - Lady day and john coltrane

5. John Martyn - Cooltide(album) - The cure / Same difference.....One
World(album) - Couldn't love you more(the most amazing love song ever
witten)

6. Japan - Gentlemen Take Polaroids(album) - Swing

7. Scott Walker - Sings Jacques Brel(album) - If you go away

8. The Cure - Wish(album) - Trust / Friday i'm in love / A letter to elise

9. Max Bruch - Violin Concerto No.1 (so romantic)

10. Eddi Reader - Dear John EP - Dear John (i can no longer listen to this
song - maybe the saddest song ever written)

11. David Gray - A Century Ends(album) - Shine / Debauchery

12. Nick Drake - anything and everything

13. Sinead O'Connor - So Far... The Best of(album) - Nothing compares 2 U

14. Indigo Girls - Indigo Girls(album) - Love's recovery / History of us

15.Tom Waits - Nighthawks at the Diner.....the whole album

16. Joe Jackson - This Is It(album) - One more time / Breaking us in two

17. Van Morrison - The Best of(album) - Moondance / Brown eyed girl / Have i
told you lately

18. Joy Division - Substance(album) - Transmission / Love will tear us apart
(now this is on a par with john martyn's couldn't love you more)

19 Belle and Sebastian - do i really need to write the album/EP  names -
lots of stuff but especially - Lazy line painter jane / Seeing other people
/ Expectations / She's losing it / I don't love anyone / Photo jenny / Dog
on wheels / A century of elvis


..............well there you go..........if you don't know much of this
stuff and would like to, let me know and I will furnish you, courtesy of TDK
with 90 mins worth.

I feel much better now, thank you.

Sweet dreams

Colin

"I've got a girlfriend with bows in her hair and nothing is better than
that.......is it" (Talking Heads)...........well maybe one day.


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