Sinister: TV oN iN BeD...

[velocity farewell]

Hello there my sweetisterines...
I see our village keeps growning.... who's gonna win
the lottery for us so we can really start building it
up..? I mean, after all this enthousiasm it's a pity
to remain just a virtual village, isn't it?
more and more and more suggestions coming up....
and the more the suggestions get
the more I realise that there are so many positions to
be covered...
here's our
U
R
B
A
N       P L A N        R e P o R T:

Oh... hold on a sec...
First of all I'd like to apologise to Jeanette as it
was her idea that Peter Miller should run the porno
shop and Marc C. the disco... sorry Jeanette... sorry
Paula from taking this warm feeling of aknowledgement
for something you haven't done from you... S
                                           O
                                           R
                                           R
on our latest now... well well well...     Y
I can see that Rabbit Brand (tm) hasn't lost his
time... as Lixi's idea of pimping Woodland Mammals
seems to be so      i
                   ntr
                    i
                  guing
yer...
Kerry... will definetelly run the 
                  MicRoBioLoGy Lab 
of the Sinister Village... that means we're in need
for doctors, nurses, pharmacists... and yes o yes,    
             anaesthesiologists... 
have you ever had been anaesthesised? it's Grate...
I have to say that I Luv...
 Valerie Solanas', LJ's, and Georgine's
                 ScHiZopHreNia
    it can be really FruitFuLL, believe me...
so... Valerie wants, this time, to run the 
           AniMaL SheLtEr and the village 
                 RiDinG StaBLe...
she's also spoken about alternative sources of energy
for our village... I have nothing against that...
quite the opposite... do you? I've onced seen this
documentary with this city covered with some sort of
plastic to gather solar energy... it was amazing... a
bit claustrophobic though... hmmmmmmmm...
Caroline (Smith) said that she'd like to run a 
             SeCoNd HanD BooKsToRe
I don't know what Laura would have to say on that...
but I don't think she'd have any problem... I mean,
competition is a "healthy" ingredient of a free
economy isn't it?...and since, we're gonna have a
close society, things could work like that: we'll buy
books from Laura's, read them and then sell them to
Caroline who would sell them to someone else... and so
on...
      After checking Jen's CV, counting the hours
she'd spent in the Library, etc... I think she'd be
the perfect      sinister       LiBrAriAn...   
Mike Windisch... Mike wants to buy a ScOoTeR... I
thought of him in a nice mod costume selling vespas
and scooters in our local...
         "MoDs' WaYs of RidiNg" mOtOr ShoP
        if he has no objections about that...
Michael Marucco just wants to be a 
               DisHwaSHeR and draw things...
All you have to do Michael is charge your services as
a dishwasher really high and go from the one
restaurant to the other washing the dishes as I don't
think that anyone would be in a washing the dishes
mood...
Alix C. the mammal pimp... wow! that sounds cool!!!
also suggested that PamB should be hairdresser and    
               MartinR 
could be the weird person who is convinced he rules
the fish people. FisH PeoPle RuLe...
and we need a netball team... aPPliCatIoNs, pleAse...
Robert Foster made my mouth foamy with all this talk
of him being the sinister
                     MiLkMaN
Robin will definetelly be the sinister
                  WiNdOWCleAnEr...
with his sinister intentions though, I think the
villagers' windows would be always DiRtY...
mmmmmmmm...
  Now Christa will have the coolest 
                  ReCoRd StOrE
talking of which here's something that has just hit
me:
are we going to have any sinister M*O*N*E*Y?
what should be our mean of exchange/trading? how are
we going to buy our records and food and pay Lixi for
the use of her mammals... blimey... money...
I think we should follow Bakounin's theory in that...
we should just excange things... I mean Laura would
need some fresh milk from Robert and she can give him
a book in exchange... or Christa will definetelly need
her windowns cleaned so Robin can take some records,
and so on... and ON... and On...   
             MaSSaGe ParLoUR
many people applied for this position... mmmmm I
wonder why... why indeed....
     Paul Field said he'd like to give massages and
he's got magic FiNgErS... his only problem was what he
was going to do if he had to give massages to people
he wouldn't like... so... I thought that we can use
more that one masseurs... and there you go... I
proudly present you with the people whose fingers are
gonna make your aching bodies MELT...
                   Chris Brown 
who's really busy with his non-sinister bizness and
asked me to give you all his greetings... said he's
missed you all.... mmmmm 
            and...   AdAm Apparatus
is your third masseur... 
all 3 guys have been tested in really hard conditions
and proved that they really do have magic fingers and
they can be excellent masseurs... CeRtiFiEd...* G *
Adam Chapman wants to run the sinister
                BuS SeRviCe
yer... with all this talk about buses etc... well...
he has to try his very best... Adam...??
My dearest mod Rob the Pelican... will run the 
                TeA PlaNtAtiOnS
I've never seen a mod in charge of a tea plantation,
but in a PoP! AnArcHy "environment" all is 
 P
    O
        S
           S
              I
                   B
                       L
                           E
and most likely to happen...
Simon A. offered to create the sinister village site 
YEY!!! No Objections to that...
Grace...
I'm not sure but I think that there are some
corner-shops in sinisterville... but I really don't
think that this is a problem... there are going to be
lots of corners anyway... RiGhT?
Samantha, being sensitive and sweet, thought that
there should be a 
                     WiG ShOp
for those sinister villagers who are lacking in
hair...
I wonder why nobody's thought of that before... motto
should be: don't take your hair for granted!!!
Genevieve wants to become a sinister legend and be the

            LaDy of the LaKe
who would saduce poor, innocent sinistermen under the
moonlight...
no objections to that... every city needs its myths
and legends, right? Genevieve seems to have the
qualities to become one... yer...
Emily or Melissa Thornton 
  (any relation to NME's editor?) wants to run the
         GNOME ADOPTION AGENCY AND ORPHANAGE
GnOmEs, oRpHaNs... interesting concepts...
Paul Arathoon wants to be a 
                FooTbAll PlaYer
yer, sure Paul... if you're half as good as Zola I'd
be your most devoted fan...
Alasdair's being wondering why he's a teacher... well,
I don't really know... It's just something my instict
told me...delete buttons? yey...
Martin Robinson had scared the hell out of us talking
about germs and antibiotics... then, he suggested that
he should be the sinister
                HeAltH iNsPeCtoR
mmmm... I think that's fair enough...
Cris-t-opher wants to run a 
                   RecOrD ShoP 
as well... so watch out Christa... you have to be more
               competitive...
St.Lucy wants to run the sinister
              BeD & BreAkFasT
and I have to say that her image in one of these robs,
tidying up messed up beds and talking to herself, made
me smile and also gave me unholy thoughts such as what
would I do to shock her when she comes to tide up my
bed... the morning after... as I'm really considering
marriage with a certain person, I think we should
forget our honeymoon in Vegas and go to Lucy's Bed &
Breakfast instead... what do you think love?
  Di (ipecap spice) + Rob Brennan + Colin Mowat
all these caring, loving souls have different views on
how a mental hospital should function...
I liked the idea of tea and cakes for treating mental
diseases and kebabs for more serious, chronic
situations.... yer, I think you can all cooperate in
out Mental Hospital using your alternative methods of
treament and experiment on us poor sinisteriennes... I
mean, that's what PsYcHiAtRY all about anyway...
Jason Cutler wants to be the sinister
                      HaNdYmAn
and Steve C. wants to have a 
             BasKetBalL TeAm ...
c'mon tall sinisterinnes... do JoIn...
Sweet Fiona... will be in charge of the 
          loCaL CouNcelliNG SeRviCe
and dont' you dare telling me is something we don't
need... we most certainly do... a lot of fighting and
quareling goes on in the sinister land lately...
harassments, hypocritical attacks, all these need to  
                  be sorten out...
and the guilty ones... watch out... your punishment
will be really harsh... 
Matthew Smith's offered to be the village's 
                    CaBbIe
cabbies can be really cool... you should watch it with
your mirrors though Matty... you're very indiscrete
sometimes... yer...
Dave (David Strange Strange) had demonstrated an
amazing ability in reporting... I think, yes, he'll be
               our very own RePoRteR
and he can cooperate with Mark from Nottingham who'll
be in charge of the local
                RaDiO StatiON
and who promised that he'd play music based only to
your requests... he has no other choice anyway...
Alexander Borgia had spread the rumour... of me not
intending to become a spinster... and he instantly
made me think of a  Stephen Merritt's song
                AgiNG SpiNstErS
I do certainly not have an intention of becoming a
spinster... who's gonna rock my chair and bring me
pink lemonade when I'd be old and look like a frog?
As I've said before... I'm considering marriage with a
certain someone and we're gonna have our honeymoon in
St.Lucy's B&B... how can I not provide Lucy with hot
gossip to spread around...? that'd be at least        
         criminal...!!!
God!! that was soooooo lonnnnnnnnngggggggg...
I'm so sorry... not entirelly my fault though... 
I have to go now... but not before I tell you that
      I've finished the 
               SiNiSteR TrAcK TaPe
from my DJing session and all I need are the addresses
of people who'd requested a song and still haven't
sent me their snail-mail address... for those who
would like a copy as well... apply now... it's your
last chance...
another thing is that I was trying very hard to figure
out what I should do in the sinister village... I've
come up with the idea of a 
               SiNiStEr GaLLeRy
with all the portraits of sinister people... I'd be in
charge of the Gallery and I'd also paint the
portraits!
Alexander Borgia can help me in his spare time... I'm
telling you he's darn good in stretching canvass...!!!
and in case you're wondering, my kick boxing lessons
are going pretty well... Master George is a very 
       Strict coach I have to warn you...
He makes me do all these weird things.... worst of all
he keeps screaming instructions to me while brushing
his teeth with this buzzing toothbrush which seems to
have this obsession with G.Parsons songs... it's awful
as I can't really understand what he's saying and do
all wrong things... then he has this "vice" of making
me kick and punch the boxing shack while he plays all
his
                  CARPENTER RECORDS...
It's a torment... I can tell you that... but... as
ancient greeks said "no pain no drain"... HaH...
that's it...
please do help Simon with his site...
love + bon bons
V.F.
XXX
 O







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