Sinister: the sleeper from the black lagoon

[ian]

so many things, my twinklettes, so many things...

for those of you who don't remember me (probably at least 1099 of this 1100
member list) a short introduction is in order... i am ian -surnameless ian,
pop-star kidnapper, elvis impersonator, gay dirty den and creator of the
pottery pterodactyl. (speaking of which, my baby seems to have gone
quiet...could i please recall it and send it flying off to sarah clarke..
thankyou)

well, as the real dirty den met his match, so did the gay dirty den...
fortunately it was not in an exploding bunch of daffodils but in a broken
computer.  unlike my predecessor, i was able to climb out of the virtual
canal..i am a little covered in pondweed, rather smelly, and in need of a
good conditioner but i feel the draw of sinister too strongly to take time
to wash.

some of you may remember the "pick a belle and sebastian album title"
competition from october.  the entries are being examined and i shall select
a winner shortly...  the prize? a night with bonnie langford, or whatever i
find in poundworld, its your choice..

i have some news...i am expecting jesse spencer's baby!  yes, its true.  the
eagle-eyed amongst you might have noticed that the irresistable billy from
neighbours was appearing in panto in wolverhampton.  well, let's just say
that he couldn't resist a nice boy when he saw one.

unfortunately, i was not that boy and had to hold him down while i climbed
astride... oh, you're people of the world, i can stop there.
anyway, the next night an australian angel of the lord came to me and
sweetly intoned "rejoice, for though art to bear the child of the lord of
sex..the lord has given graciously"

well, at first i thought he meant richard whitely...
actually, it might be richard whitely's baby.  there was that moment in
dudley station toilets..
i swear i only did it because he said he'd get me carol vorderman's
knickers...

bastard never did.  gyles brandreth's jockstrap is NO substitute..

well, onto other things....recently somebody screamed
"what the buggery bollocks is going on with bowlie!?!" or words to that
effect.

and no-one replied.  i take it this means you're all as in the dark as i am.
last thing i heard mogwai were organising it and expecting isaac hayes to
play.  seems a little unlikely to me.  much as i love arab strap, i find it
a little hard to believe that mr shaft is going to come all the way to
camber to perform with them.

having said that, they could put anyone on and i'd go along.  i suspect
that's what foundation are relying on.

other things...will the person who was posting as barbie please do it again.
ailsa ross, slap the back of your hand...five minutes between your posts is
too long, let alone five months...

erm.. there was more but now there isn't.

so that seems like a good place to stop.

love, hugs and secret illicit fumblings..

gay dirty ian

(the elvis thing was a lie)
-------------------------------------

"dreams are just like wine
and i am drunk on mine"  mama cass

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