Sinister: Slafes to the Rafe

[Michael Jones]

Need a bass !

January.  Jan-U-ary, JAN-uary, Janu-ARY.  I hear some adventurous
folks are injecting conc-Benilyn into their lungs to banish this 'flu
thang.  I'm not surprised at such desperation; it's no fun being a
walking percolator by day, and condensing an entire season of
"Daktari" sound-FX into every laboured rasp by night.  Of course, I
generally pay enfeebled street-urchins to be ill *for* me at this
time of year.  Most of them don't make it, poor blighters.

An enormously long time ago, back in the days when you could still
write a cheque without having to delete the pre-printed '19' in the
top right-hand corner*, Stevie T and Peter M concocted a humourous
little tale regarding the ludicrous nature of Lawrence Felt's new pop
construction.  Except, it now transpires, they were being horribly
factual.  Lady P and I gave it a spin the other night; mouths -
opening and closing.  No sound.  "Lots of anger in Rwanda... drinkin'
Um Bongo, drinkin' Um Bongo".  My head was sticky with bewilderment
from that point on; my critical faculties snapped off as soon as the
synthetic kiddie-vox kicked in on "Mrs Back to Front...".  Someone
else can review this properly for those who are interested; I don't
think I can stomach a second listen.  The man's a genius, of course.

(* - I like to think that this is an indication that the humble
cheque was never supposed to persist beyond the 20th century; that
banks fully anticipated that we'd be exchanging money-fluid through
glittery tubes fastened to our hips by 2001.  I think the tragic
consequences of NatWest's Ashton-under-Lyme trials in the mid-80s
took everyone by surprise.  No matter how often they hose, you can
still see the stains on the Town Hall steps.)
 
Chad, in a thread concerning Bibbe's boy-wonder, said:

>Does anyone really
>think what modern pop musicians do is new? In the bold truth, music
>stopped being something new and original many decades ago. 

Well, let's not confuse the terms 'new' and 'original'.  It's
entirely possible to juxtapose a clutch of existing styles and
produce something fresh; if one can see the joins or catches a whiff
of cynicism in the execution, it's supremely irritating; if it seems
as natural as breathing, you're onto a winner.  This, I reckon, is
where B&S qualify as something 'new'.  I'd say the same for Arto
Lindsay and Stereolab.  Or Windsor Davies and Don Estelle.  Beck, I'm
not too sure about; one could make a case for his thrilling
"nowness", or dismiss him as patchwork-pastiche - Lenny Kravitz with
a broader record collection.  I'm not about to do either.  Some nice
songs on "Mutations".  

As for the idea of music ceasing to be something new and original, I
don't think that's strictly possible.  It renews itself whether we
like it or not.  In the pop realm, I don't recall anything remotely
like Missy Elliot or Richard James in the top 10 (or anywhere else) a
decade ago.

Where are the pop theoreticians when you need them ?  You can see I'm
struggling here.  Duke, Timbo, Starry, Trousse, Brooking and da
rest... cock your kultur-pistols and blast me back on course, you
foolz.

Ste' Mik'
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