Sinister: Men are like linoleum floors, lay them right & you can walk on them for 30 years

[Laura Llew]

I want to begin by saying that I've noticed a lot of new people on the list 
lately and the disappearance of some old ones that I was quite fond of 
(mainly Jygsaw Dave.. another southern lad is gone *sigh*).  Anyway, I would 
just like to welcome all of the newbies with an open heart (and to those 
single guys with open arms, hehe).

I said that I wouldn't dream of Belle and Sebastian until they started 
dreaming of me. Well, Stuart Murdoch better be waking up in the middle of 
the night in cold sweats with the taste of Laura Llew still on his tongue. 
Yes, I know the *I had a dream* posts are of yesteryear and passe now. But, 
I can't help it if I'm always behind the times. It wasn't even that 
spectacular of a dream (Though, I'm quite surprised it lasted as long as it 
did and made sense. Usually in my dreams something odd happens- like one of 
the people turning into a singing & dancing muffin with pink frosting -and 
then the scenario changes.) I was a reporter trying to get an interview with 
the band. I had gone through all of this trouble to meet then and everything 
had fallen through (I was even at an amusement park once and couldn't find 
them).
So, finally we get something set up and I meet them. We're in one of those 
auditorium classrooms (where each row of chairs is higher than the one's in 
front of them). And there was a Spanish film beginning at the same time. 
Well, I started talking to the members of th band but I couldn't really 
understand what they were saying because I couldn't hear them. So, I was 
just nodding a lot. Now, I've admitted in the past that I really don't know 
that much about Belle and Sebastian as individuals nor do I really care 
(besides the fact that Stu *will* one day be my Cabana Boy). But I think 
that my dream was definitely off in this one particular point of 
information. Because to my knowledge, one of the members of the group isn't 
a large middle aged Hispanic lady. But in my dreams she was a member. 
Anyway, this lady says something and I thought she was saying something to 
the effect of, "Let's wait until the movie's over," because one of the words 
she used was a Spanish word. So, I nod and the next thing I know they're all 
leaving! Then I realized that she said llegar and not the name of the 
Spanish film (Does llegar mean to leave? Seven years of espanol and all I'm 
familiar with is quesadillas. In my dream, the word she used was a form of 
llegar). I rushed out after them trying to get them to stay but to no avail. 
And all my beloved Stuart Murdoch would do was kind of shake his head like 
he was sorry and that was it.

Boy, I was steamed. I couldn't get back to bed the rest of that night 
because I was so mad. I refused to listen to any of their songs that day 
too. All I'm saying is if the band is going to make cameo appearances in my 
dreams, they should at least be polite about it.

Did anyone else fall in love with Will Porter from his last post or was it 
just me? If he ever has a fan club, I get dibs on being President.

Hmm, I'm having difficulty typing with this ice pack on top of my hand. I 
was pouring water (for tea) and I accidentally poured it on my hand. It's 
actually quite painful but I shall stop whining. Hmm, maybe I'll try to be 
postive about it. Look at the silver lining of this dark omnious acid filled 
harbinger of doom that lurks over me.. I should just be grateful that I'm 
not... that I'm not.. um.. an elf. Ok, so that's the best I could think of. 
But really elves don't have it easy. I mean, have you ever thought about the 
life of those creatures? A little elfling enters the world full of hopes and 
dreams. But really what does he have to look forward to? His entire life 
options are to 1- work in a tree making cookies 2- work for a corpulent man 
who only actually works himself once a year or 3- be a lawn ornament. Plus, 
you think you look bad in hats - try fitting them over pointy ears. The poor 
dears.

As you can tell by the pouring of hot water all over my hand, I'm one of 
those graceful girls who has great hand & eye coordination. This leads 
directly into the PE topic. Do they still have kids choose their own teams 
in grade school? If so, someone please pray tell me why. I shall never 
understand the motives of such a practice. Someone always ends up last and 
with more material to use in a therapy session later in their life. Of 
course, I was always near the end. Not because of lack of ability (Let's 
face it, there weren't exactly any kickball prodigies in my school. I don't 
know what kind of 7 year olds y'all were) but because of lack of friends. I 
wasn't the most amiable of little girls. I remember some boy tried to kiss 
me on the playground once and I ended up flipping him. Don't ask me how it 
happened since I wasn't a large kid. I just remember him messing with me and 
then seeing him fly through the air. He landed on the ground with a nice 
thud. Straight from a b&s song, yes? The other unfortunate boy who tried to 
show his affection then got punched. Sucker.

So, let me get this right about the new list crush site. If two people vote 
for each other than Honey sends them both an e-mail where he chants " ... 
sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes a crush, then comes ..."   
There's a site on the web that does basically the same thing but it's called 
Pimping Cupid (through the same people who do the purity test at 
www.thespark.com). So, may I start calling Honey - Pimping Cupid? Sounds 
like a great WuName, eh? I wonder if he'll start going around in diapers 
wielding an arrow. We thought Miss Honey was a name.. but no. It's just a 
request  to the other members of the cupid gang he runs around with. Of 
course, if he's now armed and dangerous, perhaps I should be more careful of 
what I say.

*ducking*

Laura

'Meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977'
(is that better Andy?)

        **Laura Llew's Most Cherished Listee of the Week**
This goes to that lovely lad who helped this daft lil' lass find her way 
around the sinister chatroom. He was most patient with me even though I'm 
not very bright and am depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Much 
thanks to this soul from England who is kind to me even though I am very 
American. This bright boy is... none other than
..........................Chris_t_opher...........................




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