Sinister: He wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

[Alexander Borgia]

[Sounds of Isobel playing cello and Sarah playing violin]


      Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
      Erwrought with golden and silver light,
      The blue and the dim and the dark cloths,
      Of light and light and the half light,
      I would spread the cloths under your feet;
      But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
      I have spread my dreams under your feet;
      Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

[harp sounds]

[abrupt stop]

We interrupt this e-mail to bring you a special feature......

[theme song from 2001 A Space Odyssey - then deep resonant voice]

Welcome to Sini-Crush 2000. Your weekly update on the Crush list watch.

[cue announcer]

I must say there has been an interesting glut of e-mails over the last
few days. Crush, crush, crush......smirk. Would you look at some of the
campaigning going on?  It's shaping up to be a fine race.

The most interesting move this week came today from Miss Honey. Now
would you look at the e-mail that came today....


honey at missprint.org wrote:

> <humourless interlude>
>
>  The only one allowed to talk about list content on the list is
> me, because I'm mummy.

> Don't hate me.
>

Here we see a the exertion of authority which has sent shivers down
everyone's spine and inspired one person to cast their vote for Miss
Honey. Now we aren't sure and we have our technical team confirming
this, but it appears that the vote for Miss Honey had been originally
cast for someone else and that vote was changed. What is astonishing i
that Miss Honey is using authority  as a sexual device to garner the
vote.

We were originally going to focus on the tie between Laura Llew and
another listee, but it appears as though Laura is in first place. We
won't mention the other person's name to protect their broken heart.


Here we can see why Laura is in first place on the list.....

Laura Llew wrote:

> 'Meeting all of your Laura Llew needs since 1977'
> (is that better Andy?)
>
>         **Laura Llew's Most Cherished Listee of the Week**
> This goes to that lovely lad who helped this daft lil' lass find her
> way
> around the sinister chatroom. He was most patient with me even though
> I'm
> not very bright and am depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Much
>
> thanks to this soul from England who is kind to me even though I am
> very
> American. This bright boy is... none other than
> ..........................Chris_t_opher...........................
>
>

Our analyst have studied these messages and discovered that they contain
subliminal messages that will control readers minds and cause them to
vote for this person. Notice all of the long phallus shaped letters used
in the messages?  Yes, and notice how the message contains the sexual
innuendo .....Sex sells. And we are seeing it working here in this
campaign.

Next we see Ellen trying to obtain the sympathy vote. So far it hasn't
worked to her advantage.

Ellen wrote:

>
> list-crush votes: i'll never have one. sad but true. (come on, prove
> me
> wrong..) ; )

And then we see it again as a strategy and it isn't working here either.
I think we can safely assume that this strategy is not a good one.

ipecac spice wrote:

>
> sorry for bothering you all with so many posts lately. i have this
> secret
> hope that if i keep posting eventually someone will give me a list
> crush
> vote. then again people would probably be more likely to vote for me
> if i
> agreed to stop posting. i wonder if you get notfied of the crush if
> you
> vote for yourself...hmmm...

 [commercial interruption]

"I survived Sini-Crush 2000"

Get your T-shirts now. We have a limited stock of them so don't delay.

One size fits none. Available colours are black with black writing.

Prices include shipping and handling...

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[end commercial interruption]

[cue announcer]


In other developments....

We have also seen a mention from Kerry about her breasts, this too
doesn't seem to work for garner votes. Perhaps had the photograph been
in colour.

Erica mentions Kate Moss. Erica also sends in her campaign photo and it
is wonderful. It truly is a great image and both the subject and
photographer are to be commended. Perhaps a movement should be started
to have Erica as the cover for the next B&S release....it could probably
look like this.....

http://www3.sympatico.ca/alexander.borgia/honey/newrelease.jpg

I am sure we will see some voting activities in Erica's corner in the
next few days. Particularly if we hear more stories of knee sittings.


So far, we haven't seen any strategies that are trying to purchase
votes. Can we expect free toasters and 8 piece Joseph and Mary steak
knife sets, with potato peelers and Ghinsu razor blades as added
bonuses? How about the limited time free t.v. offer like the Craftmatic
Adjustable Bed people, which, has been going on for what seems to be my
entire life. What will the future bring us in the way of daring campaign
strategies? I do think we will see more people insinuating that they
"put out." That factor has always seemed to have a positive effect on
voting.

Well, that's it for this issue of Sini-Crush 2000.....

[announcer experiences human spontaneous combustion]


Alexander



.....I'm not just any cheap internet slut....I'm King of the Cheap
Internet Sluts......


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