Sinister: Get astronomy binoculars - they're great for looking in windows at night.

[Alexander Borgia]

Good bye Sini-Sunday, Monday fast approaches.

The Major would like to report that all is normal and he has returned to
HQ after inspecting the field station. He was pretty excited because the
server he plays Quake Arena on is called QuakeShit.com and he gets to
say a bad word. He watched Mickey Blue Eyes this weekend and thought the
funniest part was the Chinese lady screaming, "Eat the fucking cookie."
Then seeing that there was art in the movie that had naked lady
paintings, he drew his first nude. It's sort of a Reubans style drawing,
but in yellow waxed crayon. I'm not sure if I should put this on the
fridge or not.

Watching him play Quake Arena is quite enjoyable, although luckily it
only lasts a few days and then there is a break. I understand what
soldiers hear all day while in a battle zone....for those unfamiliar
with the game, it is a first person shooter type game with very good
quality graphics which is played over the internet in gladiator style
Arenas. There are different characters that you can select, some of them
female. When the Major plays there is the sounds of the weapons
exploding, the flesh flying, screams of death, music and the added
surround sound provided by the Major himself. This includes sarcastic
commentary, general noises that only an 8 year-old boy could make,
offering play observations about anyone who plays in the game that
contains a bad word in their name, and songs ad-libbed. Keep in mind
that he attends Catholic school and is learning all the hymns and church
songs so much of his singing while playing the game is religious songs
with new lyric involving aliens and bloody death, but once in a while I
think I hear some B&S in there.. He's also got this thing about only
playing on the blue team, and he doesn't like bikers for some reason.

He's also pretty excited about the clan website I started making him. He
really enjoys boasting about his websites (unlike me who lets people
happen upon mine), although he never answers his mail, nor actually does
any work on it. Here's the link if you want to see it:

http://www.angelfire.com/games/lizardsquad/

I should mention that the embedded wavs aren't working properly and I
will fix them.

One of the sounds in the game that is most enjoyable is the exclamation
made by one of the female characters when she jumps. It definitely
sounds sexual, such as those sounds associated with thrusting, and it
makes me think of a fellow listee, she knows who she is. I also get that
feeling listening to Lazy Line Painter Jane.

Speaking of exclaimations, I learned last week that they don't really
like it when you exclaim "Bullshit!" in a meeting. Particularly if what
the person is saying is indeed bullshit and they look stupid. Yes, they
are still trying to promote me, despite me not seeking career
advancement. Now they are going to buy me a bunch of cool toys.




[abrupt stop]

We interupt this e-mail to inform you that this e-mail will not be
interupted by the regularly scheduled Sini-Crush 2000 Special Feature
interuption. This special issue was to focus on how it was observed that
the leaders on the list crush have been gaining votes without posting,
yet they were discovered to be quite active in the Sinister Chat Room on
IRC. The special team of analysts from the firm Bear, Bear, Bear, and
Nephew, and Son were sent to investigate this and see if there was any
connection. Very early yesterday the special team of analysts locked
themselves in a room to spend time on IRC.

After 14 hours of intense investigation, one of the team members came
out of the room and returned quickly with a jar of honey, supposedly for
nourishment.  Later a delivery of pizza and 200 Wet-Naps was received.
The pizza and Wet-Naps were to be slid under the door but this caused
the toppings to scrape off and those had to be pushed under with a
spatula. They took the spatula.

Today it was discovered that the team had yet to actually find the
Sinister chatroom and had spent the entire day and last night in a
cybersex chat room.
This morning a note was passed under the door from inside the room that
formed the report that was due regarding the Sinister Chat Room,
unfortunately the list crush was not mentioned.

The team of analysts would like it known that dust bunnies are  in no
way associated with lust bunnies, in fact, they are not even of the
genus Lapins, and should be kept away from honey.

They would also like to pass a message to the "guy who was pretending to
be a bi-curious woman" who was recently chatting with "Candy Bubble."
They would like to say: Please come back. They have the spatula and want
to know what to do next?

Stay Tuned Next Week when we'll have another Sini-Crush Special Feature.
We now return you to the e-mail in progress.

[end interuption]


I'm starting to work out the plans from my trip to Europe later this
Spring. So far I have decided that I will most likely be going in late
May, or early June. I'll most likely be going for 2 or 3 weeks, and
beyond knowing for sure I am going to France and Holland, that's about
all that has been decided so far. I had thought about getting some
t-shirt made up that say, "Alexander Borgia - European Sex Tour 2000"
but seeing how well I am doing on the list crush I would probably end up
with all the t-shirts and people would laugh at me and say that I
could've stayed home to do that. I guess I will just concentrate on what
the trip is actually for and do my research.

While we're still on that subject.... Wanker. I have always been under
the assumption that wanker was the British equivalent of a "jerk-off,"
and that wanking was indeed masturbation. I assumed that traditional
wanking was something done with a thick catalogue full of pictures of
the same woman wearing different styles of old lady underwear. It would
seem that it has alternate meanings, but I'm not going to trust any of
you though. This is a sinister list and we are supposed to be sinister
so I think you are all playing a trick on me for when I am in England
the same way I play tricks on people by telling them French phrases that
are totally smutty and they think they are ordering poached eggs.


An observation today.....as many of you know, this weekend is a nomadic
weekend for many students. I noticed today that you can tell how close
the guys helping the girls to move are by watching how much care they
take when moving the mattress. If a guy ain't spending time on it, it
seems to tumble down the stairs and not get covered in the drizzle. Pay
attention girls.....your comfort is at stake.

With that I leave you good night....

Alexander

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