Sinister: da da DAAAAA.....

Wed Jul 12 00:47:49 BST 2000

...i'm BACK!!!

<cue slightly embarrassed shoe staring and feet shuffling as no one catches 
the mad girl's eye...>

no don't worry, i'm not REALLY a complete egomaniac, it's not as if i made a 
massive sinister impact last time i was here, didn't actually expect anyone 
to miss me, and now, on my return, i do not even have the wonderful e-mail 
addy of rachel at tigermilk.freeserve.co.uk anymore. it has been truly buggered 
up in my puter's nervous breakdown. i have been fairly distraught about this 
monumental loss, and i spent ages when i set up my hotmail account trying to 
get something b&s related (but with no extra numbers -it looks so messy) 
again. failed miserably, damn. couldn't get anything connected to mark owen 
either which both upset and exhilerated me...i'm not the only mark obsessive 
left, honest! d'you know the amount of bribing and cajoling i have to go 
through to get my cable-owning, bbc choice watching friends to tape mark 
owen's celebrity scooters for me? do you?

oh my god my sinister return is already a humilitating experience...

so, yeah, anyway

how y'all doing then peeps? been up to anything exciting in the few months 
since i left you? no new single, album, lack of tour or anything like that 
going on?

well, actually, don't all stampede to tell me what's been hip, happenin' or 
otherwise cos i have been in big brother mode and watching you. oh yes, the 
archives are fabulous things, though confession time, i have to admit i only 
really read the posts of people who were around when i left until i was back 
in the nursery, so i apologise to everyone else.

i've had a couple of wicked b&s experiences in the last fortnight which i've 
been dying to share with you, so i was well chuffed when i finally got the 
call to relinquish the sini- play pen and can now bore you to tears.

first up, we were sat in our local pub, me in a state of mental collapse due 
to it being the day before my last two exams (yes, a-levels are no more, 
positive thinking says i will not need to repeat, i will not need to repeat, 
i will...), and what does john the barman put on the cd player? tigermilk!!! 
i could have kissed him! as far as i know b&s have never been put on the 
star stereo before, and i haven't heard them since (i'm in there enough, i 
should know these things), it was just what i needed. i stayed for the whole 
of the album, went home much happier, with renewed revision impetus, and the 
next day i...probably failed my final exams...but y'know, i would have done 
worse without the unexpected dose of the belles at their most gorgeous. 
tigermilk still manages to suprise me, i can still find new...things (what a 
shit word, but this life has just come on and i'm slightly distracted) in 
it, which is my main gripe with fold your hands, it's already extremely 
familiar sounding and i've only had it for a bit. it's kind of boring, which 
given the amount of time i've waited for it is damn disappointing.

anyway, been plenty of fishyclap reviews so i shan't add mine to the pile, 
but second great how-b&s-can-make-your-life-better-moment was when i was in 
the one decent club in oxford after completely failing to finish things with 
the boyf again (ongoing situation, have recently discovered that i am even 
more of a bitch than i thought, not only have i been unable to dump him 
twice, have told him i am in love with someone else, have fucked him about 
completely, and this weekend cheated on him. with someone he knows. though 
he doesn't know that yet because i've avoided his calls since. i am 
absolutely the lowest of the low and this revelation hurts, but hey, buffy's 
back on tomorrow after the wimbledon break so that's cool...nope, i can't 
even convince myself here...)

so, yeah, was having extremely shit evening and skulking round the bar 
sneering when blink 182 came on (i still have my indie snob standards 
y'know...!)when out of the depths of my self loathing (and yes, i admit it, 
pathetic self pity, god you'd think i was a bloody radiohead fan the way 
i've been carrying on, oh no, i've just checked and i've not stooped that 
low yet) i heard the opening twangs of legal man, yay! and blimey does it 
sound 50 million times better at full volume  with a dance floor at your 
disposal! cheered me up no end, and as it was fairly early on in the evening 
people weren't really up for it yet, but boy did the place go mental while 
b&s were on...ok, maybe it didn't go mental but the floor did begin to fill 
and loads of people started wearing euphoric / silly (delete as appropriate) 
grins on their faces which was heart warming to say the least. and i was 
ecstatically happy for a few minutes which makes a change.

why can't more of my life be made up of these moments? is anybody's?

<ooh, this life has finished,i should really be going to bed now, it really 
isn't the same without warren is it? the rest of the characters can be so 
hard to sympathise/empathise (not sure which i mean) with, even if they can 
be damn funny...fuck me, i really shouldn't get so involved in fictional 
people, i've been banned from even mentioning the joey and pacey 
relationship (dawson's creek) in front of my best mate cos he's sick of 
hearing me worry about made up people, he reckons if i took more interest in 
real life i wouldn't get myself into the messes that i do - see boyf problem 
- i think he may actually have a point...>

have just read through this post and realised that it's not much of an intro 
post given that hardly (if) any of you know who i am. i'm rachel btw 
(obsessions include struan, take that, oxford united fc, dawson's creek, 
chocolate flavoured nutri-grain bars etc.) and now i'm signing off.

keep it sinister

lots of love

rachel xxx
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