Sinister: I guess I just wasn't made for these times...

[Walkn10 at xxx.com]

Bon soir,

Arrrrggggg...for the past week my mind hasn't been at ease for more than 5 
minutes and I think I'm slowly driving myself insane!  My band goes back into 
the studio next Monday through Thurs to record a 6 or 7 song EP, and since 
its still in a late stage of completion with one weekend left, the stress is 
crippling me.  We recorded a 5 song EP in October, but I had little if any 
expectations for that album, so when it turned out really well I was simply 
overjoyed.  For this recording, we're trying to really push ourselves to make 
the most of each and every note on the album and everyone is slowly realizing 
that we're just not having as much fun writing these songs as before.  
Perhaps one could blame it on the steady diet of Pet Sounds and Ok Computer 
we've been digesting for the past year or so, but listening to great works of 
art and then comparing them to your own measely attempts at greatness is just 
insanity, but its what we're doing.  We're so hyper-analytical of ourselves 
its a miracle any of these songs were written to begin with.  I'm just so 
terrified of making the same record twice that I'm trying to push each and 
every button on this recording until its entirely different than its 
predecessor, which I know doesn't give the song its proper room to breathe 
every now and again.
During the entire writing/recording process of October, I was really into 
religion at that time so I just put the entire thing in God's hands every 
night and miraculously things worked out beyond all hopes and dreams.  Now, 
the cynic has crawled back to the forefront of me, and he has promptly 
sweeped the room of any traces of beliefs in Greater Beings (tm); now, I 
don't have that one guiding light that comforts me everytime a jam session 
goes awry or the clarinet line doesn't quite gel with the guitar.  As a 
result, I'm totally running myself into the ground trying to be the next 
Brian Wilson, or at least trying to think of new ways to expand our sound, 
and I'm not sure its to the benefit of the songs.  Any advice on matters such 
as these would be extremely appreciated right about now because not too many 
people in this town are artistic or neurotic, much less both.  I'm sure 
everyone who cares about their art at one time or another says to himself 
"What are you trying to say?  Do you even have anything to say?  Why are you 
doing this?  Is this really the best you can do?" and so on and so forth, and 
its extremely troubling.  I guess its these internal debates that keep us 
pushing for the next hurdle with the intent of clearing it, and as Marx says 
"as each person advances his or her art, likewise the human race evolves."
I'm sorry this had no B&S content.  Hmmm...well, in August a band called 
Camera Obscura is playing Washington, DC.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but 
didn't Struan once play in a band called Camera Obscura or am I mixing things 
up?  
Love and Hot Freaks...

Steve C.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Which Paul?" "BLAH!"

visit http://callowkids.tripod.com or your crush will hate you forever

Call WRNR 103.1 at (410) 269-1031 and request Callow's "Lessons in Shut-eye" 
or you will have bad luck...forever or something.
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