Sinister: Good Things and Bad Things

[Will Salt]

Good things and bad things have been happening to me lately.  For example:
we get all sorts of odd-looking people at our work.  Just the other day,
there was this bloke who looked just like "aristocratic" Stu M on the
inside of FISHYCLAP, but with NHS glasses and a colonially-shaped helmet.
You know what I mean; the hemispherical ones, with a big brim.  This one
was in tweed, however.

In fact, all of his clothes were tweed.  He looked as if he has never,
ever said anything to anybody -- at least, not since Rhodesia declared
independance.

On Religion:
All this talk about religion has made me think: one day, I'm going to
start my own religion.  Actually, I've been thinkinh about it for ages,
but this is a Good Time to mention it.  I haven't thought of a snappy
name, so for now my cult shall be known merely as the Fundamental
Agnostics.  Our secret wisdom shall not be some magic words or a funny
handshake; it will be the fact that we have no secret wisdom, and we are
comfortable with that.  We shan't tell you: when you die, you shall go to
a Happy Place.  We shall tell you:  when you die, we don't know what will
happen.  Have fun finding out.  We shall encourgae people not to believe
everything that they read, or everything they are told.  We shan't pretend
that we know everything, either, or that we want you to go to heaven, or
that we want you to send us your money.  If you appreciate us, you are
free to send your money, but we shall never solicit it.

You see, the religious people I don't like are the ones who always say
that they *know*.  I was brought up an Anglican, and was always told that
God will never answer tests; you have to have the strength to believe in
him for yourself.  Now, I see people saying "I can !PROVE! that Jesus
existed", and I want to ask them: "So, you don't really believe in him?"
I've studied archaeology, and find it quite amusing to read through some
of these "Christian Archaeology" books spotting the obvious mistakes -- I
don't mean factual errors in Middle Eastern archaeology, but places where
the writers clearly don't understand what archaeology can and can't do.
IMHO, those people persuade themselves that they can prove the truth of
the Bible, because they don't have the personal strength or confidence to
rely on belief alone.  I, on the other hand, contend that your life will
be better if you accept that you cannot prove what will happen after death
(to take one example), and learn to live with that.

Two related things happened to me in the last few days.  One, I have
received wisdom, in the form of graduating from university.  A man in a
richly-decorated gown tapped me on the head with a cap made from the
trousers of a centuries-dead theologian, and therefore, I can now put some
letters after my name.  I *really* haven't seen the fuss; the "Yes! I've
finished!" moment came a few months back when I finished my dissertation;
before I'd even done any exams.  Presumably, if it hadn't, I'd have got a
better grade.

Two days later, i found that my gf's mother has cancer.  Sometime in the
next year, she will probably die.

Here's a reassuring thought for all those people who want proof that
heaven is real.  If there is no life after death, you're unlikely to
discover it.  By that point, there'll be no you.  Of course, *I* don't
know whether there is or not.  I can't prove anything about the
metaphysical world, and I want to tell everyone that nobody living ever
can.

Of course, I could always be wrong about that, too.

-- 
Will S



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