Sinister: You Don't Like Armenian Coffee?

[Sarah Clarke]

Dear you lot, 

I saw TOTP the other day, where were Daphne & Celeste?? Thats what I want to
know. I think their single is out today, I implore you all to buy it. I didn't
see any g'rilla during Belle'n'Sebastians performance, the only g'rilla I saw
was wearing a spangly Union Flag top and was performing under the name of
Billie Piper. Well it must have been a g'rilla, surely no human is capable of
the depths of dance mediocrity I had to endure whilst miming tragically to some
sub-Britney BOBBINS!!!

Nice stage invasion during Legal Man tho, David Kitchen.

Arf arf!

A question. On the continent, in furrin universities right, where there are
British exchange students, can I ask something...do British people tend to
dress the same so you can pretty much guess (if you couldn't tell from the
pallid faces and cucumber sandwiches) where they were from? As walking around
my shit full of exchange students college, I see hordes and hordes of Spanish
and Greek people, and they all seem to dress the same! White shirt, tucked into
jeans, with loafers and a blazer type thing? Is this what the Yanks call
"Eurotrash"? Bear in mind, in the UK, Eurotrash means ladies with big knockers
eating knockwurst.

Or Bratwurst.

An exception to this rule would be Miss Aranzazu of Nottingham, who doesn't
call herself Aranzazu anymore, which in my opinion is a crying shame. But she's
a stylish chick. Oh I lie, the exchange students aren't all in the previously
mentioned uniform, heres one with a spangly neckscarf. Just the right thing for
a dinner party, in New Brunswick, in the Eighties.

I have a smashing 8mm film camera. I'm going to go to the lake district in a
few weeks, and I think it would be a good chance to make a brilliant silent
film. Does anyone have a script, set in the lakes, that they'd like me to film?
Or has anyone got any creative ideas they wanna pitch to me? My friend Frankie
will be making a film also. I bet he has one of those new fangled "video"
cameras, and doesn't even need a projector. What a LOSER!

My film will be GRATE. "Better than that 'Eagle Spam' load of cobblers",
punters are predicted. Ah...I see the future...the fleshpots of Cannes...the
tosspots of the Lunding meejah (read that, Papercuts), and the hotpots of
Lancashire...

Eat my dust, you weed smokin' indie wimps!
Sarah
x


=====
"But just remember, when your teacher told you to always find a home for stray animals, she wasn't referring to your rectum." -- DNA Mag-AZINE.

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