Sinister: "look at me I'm on TV" - NO YOU'RE NOT! - NOT IN THIS DAMN COUNTRY, ANYWAY!

[Lawrence Mikkelsen]

Firstly, thanks for all the nice e-mails people sent me in response to my
big long post about "The Chalet Lines" the other day, and also for no one
sending me nasty e-mails calling me insensitive etc.

***I HATE TELEVISION NEW ZEALAND***
Let me start with a rant. I stayed in especially to watch TOTP yesterday.
They play it here, a week late, and I spent all day being really exicted
about seeing Belle & Sebastian as a moving image for three minutes. Anyway,
along it comes and I sit there practically shivering with excitement. And
they don't play "Legal Man". You see (and correct me if I'm wrong ...) I
believe BBC progrmas are half an hour long. In New Zealand, we have
commercials on every channel, so a half hour show is often cut down to 22
minutes. And of course they wouldn't dream of cutting out S Club 7 or Billie
... so .... out goes the onscure indie band no one here cares about.They did
the same thing last year when B&S won the best newcomer award at The Brit
awards. Clip ... out it went, and two hours of my telly watching time were
completely wasted.

Again ... let me plead with you. If ANYONE has any B&S stuff on video, who
can copy it for me, I would be so very very grateful. I have a three hour
Smioths extravaganza, or some Orange Juice/Go-Betweens live video footage if
that would make the deal any sweeter. But please, please please someone ...
help me out.

***THE NEW ALBUM***
Really growing to love it. A few people have said it is over produced. I
disagree, and the more I listen to it the more I think this is the way B&S
have always *wanted* to sound. To these ears the whole album is glorious
soul music. One thing I have noticed ... and I don't know if anyone else has
thought about it .. is that the piano/keyboard-based songs really remind me
of the music in the television specials of "Peanusts" cartoons. That kind of
funky honky-tonk piano could really fit into the soundtrack of "It's the
Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown". Or am I just going crazy?

Try listening to the "Legal Man" single now ... isn't it amazing how
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT it is to everything on the album? Hope there is a new
single soon ... I hate the thought that that might be it for the next two
years.

***HOLIDAY***
My girlfriend and I went away for the weekend, because I was going to have a
nervous breakdown otherwise. Anyway, while wandering around Rotorua
(geothermal area in the middle of New Zealand's North Island, and dodgy
tourist trap) she stopped to look in the window of a chemist shop. And
looked and looked, her face growing more and more surprised. I went back to
see what she was staring at. With an expression of complete shocjk she said
"look ..." and pointed to the window display. There in the window of the
shop was a gigantic vibrator in bright yellow plastic, shaped like "corn on
the cobb". Not all that funny in itself ... I'm not the kinda kid who
giggles at this sort of thig. What was so funny was the display itself. As I
looked at the window display I saw literally dozens and dozens of strange
looking sex toys, culminating in a huge white plastic .44 Magnum with the
shaft shaped like a penis. Every single one, however, hafd a little tag
obscuring the label, saying something about how they were "body massagers"
and where great for "easying away tension" or something equally
euphamisitic. You have to understand this was esentially a small town
chemist ... these toys were wedged in between hair rollers, foot spas and
sports supports. The whole display had a sad, hick-town, slightly neglected
look about it .. the packages were faded from the sun, and the
handwrittentags were filled with spelling mistakes. I could just imagine my
grandmother going in and actually thinking they *were* massagers, and
showing me how great it was. (Shudder). A strange, surreal experience.

***B&S DREAM***
My second one. Well, sort of a B&S dream. I dreamt I was at a party and
Isobel was DJing. I asked her to play "Consolation Prize" by Orange Juice,
and she got really excited because she didn't know many people who liked
them. Then the dream kinda digressed (my dreams are never particularly
linear) and somehow I ended up on a very small German sub, fighting an army
of Nazi's who had been shrunk to quarter size for some reason. And obviously
it was all downhill from here.

***OFFENSIVE CONTENT***
Does anyone else get their mails bounced back to them from one particular
listee, telling them the e-mail contained "potentially offensive content" or
something? Does this REALLY bug you? It sure as hell bugs me. That kid must
only get about a quarter of mails, as I know it filters out the work "sex"
along with anything even vaguely sweary. I mean, really .... it'ds not like
this a porn mailing list.

As I write this I am listening to "Station to Station" by David Bowie. One
of his best, but neglected albums. I'm having abit of a Bowie revival. He's
ace. Thanks also to all the people who mailed me about Hefner. I ordered
"The
Fidelity Wars" and it is brilliant. I can't stop listening to it.

Oh ... the people I've promised mix tapes. I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN. I just have
a mammoth backlog to clear. Sorry, but I WILL do it, promise.

Well, that's it for me this week ... have a nice week, kids. Now we have a
new album to soundrtrack our lives to.

Lawrence Mikkelsen
http://www.akn.quik.co.nz/mikelsen/aboutme



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