Sinister: Funny dreams and fascist machines

[Mr Smiley]

Hullo,

    Coo, this is weird. I'm feeling all funny from reading all day. Anyhow.

B&S Dreams
--------------

    I haven't had any. At all, ever. Well, I might have... but I don't remember my dreams. I do however,
remember my nightmares, and this is what I'm going to talk about. You see, for no good reason whatsoever,
whenever I listen to Fold Your Hands... before going to bed I have horrific nightmares. They're getting
increasingly bizarre. The first one was about spiders crawling into my mouth, even though I actually
think spiders are quite sweet and very unscary. The second time I came home from school late (despite the
fact that I have actually left school) to find my brother was getting severely drunk with all his
friends, and they'd started to cook some snacks but had forgotten. So the kitchen was on fire and there
was a molten pizza oozing out of the oven. Then the microwave exploded (this is all still in dream
world). But the third one is the best. I dreamt that in order to achieve greater chart success, B&S
decided to re-release Legal Man as a double A side with The Bloodhound Gang's The Bad Touch. It went
straight to number one, and both bands were so pleased they decided to merge and write songs about
breasts forever and ever.
---------------

    What does all that prove? It proves that I am probably completely nuts, and I should stop eating
cheese before bedtime.
    And it looks like I shall have to be leaving my job. This is probably a good thing, because it's
quite a nasty one. I'm trying to decide now how much I want that reference, or should I just tell my boss
to cram it? Although I *will* be writing to head office. Since I've been working there I've been
overworked to the (illegal) level where I have to do 7 hours without so much as a tea break, I've been
made to work in an office thick with paint fumes nearly causing me to crash my car on the way home, and
my wages have been handled with a level of incompetence unseen since Gay Dad hired a new PR rep. And of
course I have to take all my holidays first. £320 pounds for doing absolutely nothing? Yes puuurlease.
Not that I'm materialistic or anything.
    I'm trying to write this post to be as fluffy as possible so it doesn't get deemed offensive by
someone and sent back. I'm not too sure about the word 'breasts' though. The culprit with the fascistic
censoring machine is 94rebeccasmalley at tretherras.cornwall.sch.uk, so if you're having a bad day, send
your offensive rants to her. She won't be able to read them :)
    Ah yes, I have a little observation on The Chalet Lines. Not on the lyrical front (I'm of the opinion
that it's a good song, by the way) but on a style one. It's quite traditional B&S isn't it? What does
TBWTAS not have that all the other's do? A piano led sad song a la We Rule The School/Fox In The Snow/The
Chalet Lines. Unless you count Chickfactor, but I meant it in a kind of minimalist, Stuart warbling away
at a piano, kind of way.

    Right, I'll be off to read the awful books I'm supposed to be studying for English Lit. Again. Before
I go I'll just say thanks to whoever awarded me their list crush vote. Unless, of course, it's you James.
Or you Rob (in which case get a life guys:)). If it isn't either of those budding comedians then it's
someone very fluffy and nice. Cheers.

Platonic hugs,
Mike
ICQ: 73775341
Email - smiley at rebelmonkey.freeserve.co.uk
The Black Den - http://www.rebelmonkey.freeserve.co.uk



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