Sinister: Davie Dodds The Elephant Man

[Warrander John - FML]

Hello you anal internet lot,

Isn't getting your sound man to dress up as a monkey and then trying to
break into the Queen Vic really childish? I hate Belle and Sebastian.
They're bollocks.

I did one of them focus group things at the weekend and that was rubbish
too. It was at a museum and they were trying to design a website that would
attract new visitors. I don't think pointing out that tourists who come to
Manchester are usually more interested in where the Village is and whether
you can sell them some E was taken as very constructive. But it went down
better than telling the curator their museum was rubbish and smelt bad and
no way would they ever come to it no matter how good their webpage was. I
didn't say that but the bloke who did delivered it with terrific wide-eyed
sincerity. The curator tried very hard not to look pissed off and failed. I
got paid fifteen quid for my time and did something I swore I'd never, ever
do under any circumstances, no way, no how, not never. I only went and
bought a record that you lot had recommended. 69 Bloody Love Songs indeed.
69 bloody tedious songs more like. Well, probably. I haven't made it passed
the first CD yet.

Mrs Warrander John hasn't made it past track 5 yet but then when I asked her
as a woman what she thought of Chalet Lines she said she thought it was "a
minimal, brittle, sketch of half-forgotten romance" so she's obviously a
stupid cow.

I'm saying nothing about Portugal being pretty bloody fantastic on Monday
night cos that JJ bloke knows where I live and he's got crazy, staring eyes
and he might beat me up for being a "jock fuck". England play Romania again
next Tuesday in case nobody's noticed. I'm looking forward to the Germany
game myself. Are you still looking forward to the Germany game Peter?

I think Isobel should have given all you nasty sods who've said horrid
things about her the finger when B&S were on TOTP. She probably did but it
was edited out I expect.

I was going to mention an anecdote about an Aberdeen player in the eighties
called Walker McCall who was the worst professional footballer ever. But
we've probably all had enough football for one day.

I'm going to go on chat now and wait for Megan the minker to give me a
drubbing.

Goodbye,
John



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