Sinister: Fifteen minutes of utter irrelevance

[Pete Ramsdale]

Bugger.

I've forgotten what I was going to write.

I'm off for a smoke until this work-addled, alcohol-soaked, bowlful of
weetabix mush in my head that so loosely calls itself a brain decides
to get it's act together and come up with something verging on witty
for me to send down the wire.

Toodle pip, I'll be back in a second......


Ahhhhhhhh. That's better. And it didn't take long, either. But there
again I never do. I would have been quicker, too, if that bloody lift
hadn't stopped on every floor. It always does that. Gets right up my
nose. But, my brain now sufficiently concentrated by Amber Leaf's
finest mild shag*, I will begin....

Um, hello.

I haven't posted in a while, so I am totally prepared to forgive
anyone for forgetting who I am, and indeed also those oh-so-sensible
people who have desperately *tried* to forget who I am. I don't blame
any of you. But, I'm back. And it's with the astounding revelation
that
FYHCYWLAPDGRTBVXEAZGTBKOMINBGVFCCGFB%^U&£$FMNJI<:O(K*GBR%E^%$FCISXVYBNMLHRCWRSXV%YD&HK)(L&G^GVBKYTB^BJU&WHOOOOGURGLESPLAT
is actually quite good. Took me right by surprise, that one did,
especially after having heard Legal Man beforehand, which, at the risk
of incurring general wrath and rotting airborne fruit, I have got to
say I *personally* found absolutely f***ing *dreadful*. Didn't stop me
buying it, though. Oh no. Anyway, I'm not going to do the
"take-each-song-to-bits-one-by-one" thing, as I think that's been done
to death and back again by far more eloquent people than I, but rather
just inform everyone that in terms of a personal idea of quality, it
rests at just about the same level as IYFS. That is to say, above
TBWTAS, and below Tigermilk. In terms of sheer geography, it rests in
the back right-hand corner of my living room, somewhere between TBWTAS
and "Mellow Gold", below my cd single collection, but above the "c" to
"e" section of the rest of my albums. I think that gives us a fair
idea of everything, really.

The only thing I'll say about individual songs is that, as much
maligned as "Before the Sunrise" has recently been in the cornucopia
of electronic wit that is the list, it's bloody amazing to listen to
at five o'clock in the morning after you've just ploughed your Citröen
AX into a rather large tree at 30 miles per hour the night before. Not
that I'm suggesting any of you go out and do it, but it's worth
bearing in mind. Calms your nerves superbly, and near enough makes you
forget that by rights you should be dead. Well, until that jingly bit
at the end, that is, when the whole world comes back into focus and
you start worrying about ringing your insurance company again. Still,
it did wonders for a short while.

That's enough of that, I think. I think I shall now try to raise
myself to Alasdair Cook standards of
taking-the-piss-out-of-other-peoples-posts-ery, to wit (or rather lack
of - me, that is, not Alasdair):

The original Pixidustlady said:

> I'm just home for the
> summer, working and getting some money together, before i depart in
> September to start again down in Liverpool.  I've got a place at John Moores
> uni, doing Imaginative Writing with Literature, Life and Thought.

Christ. You must be good. It takes me all my time these days to do
imaginitive writing with my right hand and a big red crayon. But there
again that's probably because my right hand has other things to do
than imaginitive writing. Oh, shut up. We all do it.....

Heather H grumbled:

> I dont remember much more because
> my back was killing me (I think ive pinched a nerve- how does one know?)

Oh, you'll find out soon enough when the rozzers arrive on your
doorstep and ask you to give the bloody thing back to the nearest
hospital, formaldehyde and all. It happened to me, you know - my mate
at junior school tried to beat me up for my lunch money, and in a fit
of peak I withdrew my penknife and nicked his finger. It wasn't long
before the police caught up with me and I had to give it back and
apologise. He got it sewn back on, apparently. It's wonderful what
science can do.

Sophie Harris:

> i used to just dream of water and sea *all* the 
> time...

The amount of bedclothes you got through must have been *terrible*.
All I have to do is hear a tap these days and me incontinence trousers
fill up quicker than a royalist at a parisian motorway tunnel.

I'll get me coat,

lol p xx.

*I prefer it rough, but I'll take what I can afford.....

-- 

 -----------------------------*||*--------------------------------

 "I may have nothing, but it's *my* nothing."
                                          - Manic Street Preachers

 Pete Ramsdale - Unix Systems Administration, UBS Warburg.
 Phone: 020 7568 3836

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