Sinister: Oh you're walking down the lane, coming back from the Catholic school.

[Alasdair Cook MC1996]

Jesus Christ! I just looked out of the window and the sky has gone the
most amazing shade of pink. Imagine it now for a few
seconds......................................................
........................................................................there.
Wasn't that good? I saw a pink car the other day. It was definitely gay.
Instead of an alarm it just shouted "I"M FREE, I'M FREE, I'M FREE!"
whenever anyone went near it. I think I saw a bloke fiddling with the
exhaust.

J.D.:
> Oh, just briefly, I've been struck by how much our Sinister village is starting
> to resemble Animal Farm,

Oh that's good, because due to being struck down by injury I am
currently unable to take part in much physical activity (no laughing at
the back, you know what I mean) and am consequently turning into a fat
pig. So I'm taking over the village, if that's alright, along with all
my evil curly-tailed friends. If you don't like it you'll most probably
die horribly, or be taken away to the market to be sold. Oink.

Speed with a direction:
> we are in desperate need for a MaYoR...

I nominate Tim Hopkins, but only because he looks like Frank Dobson.
That and the fact that Tony Blair helps him cheat to win things. I
think.

Rob:
> I have a growing pile of monkey feces

Which is strange, because, I have a growing pile of donkey faces. Aww,
they're so cute. Look at their big noses. And their big ears. Look at
them. Look at them. Look. Look at them. Of course donkeys are mokes
(thanks Pete), which are asses, which leads me on to 

Idle:
> too many
> patronising arsewanking dickhead men.

Can you wank an arse? I mean fondling is all very well, but can it be
classed as wanking? And how come when you tickle yourself you don't
laugh but when you.....never mind.

Reading the tale of Susan Span and Sally Spick I'm starting to wonder if
I was in the wrong institution. The scouts was a load of old bollocks
(how often has anyone had to tie two sticks together? For anything?),
but the guides sounds like tremendous fun. Can I still join?

Carolyn:
> you were not allowed 
> to wear earrings larger than a quarter, or else you would have a few nuns on 
> your back. 

Hang on, how did we get back into Mark's mind? Help, mummy, it's dark in
here. Oh dear, that looks a bit nasty. And he should definitely get that
seen to.
Did you play coalie-back fights with the nuns on your back? I used to
love that, it's all about balance. Can we play coalie-back fights at a
future picnic? Bags I on Erica's back. Deceptively strong that one, I'd
wager.

And finally (yay!) Jason:
> okay, i lay in bead last night unable to sleep because i realized that i had
> made two HUGE spelling mistakes. first of all i called stuart murdoch,
> stewart. (tisk tisk i know). and secondly i spelled kerouacs book "the
> dharma bums', darma. phew i feel better now, perhaps i will be able to sleep
> tonight.

And now you've spelt 'bed' as 'bead'. You're going to get a 'could do
better' on your report card if this keeps up. I know you can do the work
that's set you, you just have to apply yourself a bit more. And stop
talking to Andrew....

Bloody hell, it can't be Friday night again, can it? What's that you
say, pub? Oh, alright then...

Alasdair xx
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