Sinister: the last time

[rachel tucker]

<sniff>

<restrained sob>

<deep breath>

ummm....i'm off. hopefully not forever but at least till the summer when i
finish my a-levels. it kind of hit home when my web of deception fell apart
and my teachers realised that i haven't written an essay for any of them in
nearly 4 months...all my subjects are essay subjects so that's fairly
impressive...that actually i do want to go to uni and do english and stuff
like that. but i need to do a lot of work and basically restructure my life
and get it back on track.

 so i'm leaving this sinister land. i've been using it as an escape more and
more lately. i always knew that at some point i'd need to face up to things
in my real world and now the time has come. i don't know if i'll manage it,
but i'm going to give it my best shot.

i'd just like to say thank you to all of you, hugs all round and especially
to honey for being honey. also major teary shouts out to various people,
some of who i know, others i don't but for the last year you've kept me
entertained and kept me going when things were bad...so cheers to ailsa,
adam, scottie, owen, glam pam, carsmile steve, jim gilmer, nick dastoor,
velocity, and jason andreas, though really every single one of you should be
singled out cos you're all special.

if anyone wants to keep in touch, please please do, and for the very last
time i'm going to

love you and leave you

rachel xxx

p.s that issue of select has cleared up lots of things that have been
bugging me...i didn't realise that the new shack single 'oscar' was
basically about a disabled guy having sex with a prostitute in
holland...instead of hearing that oscar is 'wheelchair-bound', i've been
hearing it as 'wiltshire bound' all week...nb: non-uk listees - wiltshire is
a county in the west of england, so cue lots of jokes about inbred farmers,
swindon town fans, bizarre sexual practices etc. (my tongue is firmly in
cheek here, i grew up as far west in england as you can get and boy do i get
people looking for my tractor....)

also it sorted out the syphilis/sinfulness confusion over the primal scream
track 'keep your dreams'...the bobmeister seemed quite insulted that
everyone thinks he's singing about nasty diseases, serves him right for bad
pronunciation....

but till my dying day i *still* think that my misheard version of llpj is
far better than stuart's...instead of him singing about the girl who's been
making 'plenty cash' in an illegal manner, i swear he really does compare
jane's miserable existence to that of 'lesley ash', her of
debs-in-men-behaving-badly fame....

and on that (bum) note, i really am going

                                        xxx
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