Sinister: Books I Forget

[Sarah Clarke]

I'm going to be in New York City tomorrow!

Hopefully eating eggplant. Aren't those Murikans just mad? Aubergines are not
plants which are shaped like eggs. However, they are Gines which are Auber.
Stupid stupid Yanks. Who drive on a parkway and park on a driveway. It makes no
sense!! But still, I can't wait to be there. Honey and Linda are following me
there you know. I'm a bit freaked out, are they stalking me? Well who wouldn't,
I am BLUDDY GRATE.

Up yours, Babychris! Start your own NEW and GRATE saying, if that pisses you
off so much. Go on. I dare you. I bet it won't be GRATE though. I bet it will
be PANTS. 

Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like a Peasant! I know why you'd fold your
hands. Its cos if you didn't, you have them swinging by your sides, like one of
those working class lumpen proletariat plebs, innit? So if you fold them, you
look demure and restrained while you walk. Do you lot know nothing about poise?
It sounds like something my stepmother would say. But instead of "peasant", she
would say "raving lesbo ho'". 

She wouldn't, really, its ok. 

No "Marx & Engels"????? Belle! Sebastian! You promised (or hinted) at the
REVOLUTION and yet again one more time you have let me down! Even though I'm
ever so happy that "Wrong Girl" is on. Is it written about Camille Pagilla? Or
Vanessa Feltz? Anyway, I supose Marx & Engels are ever so passé. Like, who
hasn't read the Communist Mannifesto, it adorns coffee tables all over
Clerkenwell these days. Even Shoreditch twats can quote Marx. I'd be more
impressed if they'd memorised "The Social Contract" by my favourite new
Frenchie, Jean Jaques Rousseau. He's dead cool, you know. He's a geezer! He
wrote a wonderful soundbite slagging of philosophers and psueds of the
Englightenment, but buggered be me if I know what it went like now.

In New York, I will see Magnetic Fields. And my dearest husband Dr Damon, and
my beautiful oldest son Matthew, and the helpful Malay, and lots of other
people do. I'd do a big shout out, but unfortunately I am not Pete Tong, and
thus I know my place. It is not in the realm of "big shout outs to the Hull
Possé".

Whats the US equivalent of Grimsby?

Incidentally, I want to go to Coney Island. Isn't that the place with
the...fairgrounds'n'stuff?

Sarah
xoxox

=====
"But just remember, when your teacher told you to always find a home for stray animals, she wasn't referring to your rectum." -- DNA Mag-AZINE.
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