Sinister: i only kiss kiss kiss when the sun don't shine

[fiona]

cue a very obvious and vulgar mishearing, but admit it, you all 
chuckled didn't you? huh huh

  firstly, apologies to anyone i was supposed to contact over the 
weekend; sleeping and seeing my family kind of took precedence over 
everything else *grins sheepishly*

   ok, the most exciting that happened to me this weekend was i found 
someone to get me into see hefner for free. this comes as a result of 
  a)whinging about having no money
  b)being a girl
  c)spending too much time on the internet
somehow this makes people want to be nice to me, try it, it really 
works. but don't tell anyone because i wasn't supposed to.

  can't remember if i told you before, but siniville now boasts its 
very own jaffa cake delivery girl - me! i will cycle round the town 
going up and going down, bringing you orangey delights.

  speaking of which, can you really get lime ones? i find the very 
idea quite shocking.

  also, yesterday, i managed to start two conversations about jaffa 
cakes in the jeepster chat room. this was achieved by mentioning them 
repeatedly until someone else took up the thread. try it with any 
random word or phrase and see how it catches on. i would of course 
have been in #sinister except that it won't speak to me, i thought it 
was just university computers that wouldn't let me in, but i tried at 
home and my pooter there didn't love me either. *sigh* if anyone has 
any suggestions to make it work, i'd be grateful.

  ordered my slipcase the other day, yes i am that sad, i need the 
complete collection of artwork, no really i do, but the postage costs 
nearly as much as the bluddy thing itself, most unimpressed i was.

  right, i'm going to actually do some actual work, in the library, a 
scary prospect i know, but i have to put my new found resolve into 
practice.

      love and jaffa cakes,   fiona

showing you how to write a needlessly long email with no content of 
any kind in one easy lesson
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