Sinister: did you pass me just to slow down?

[ipecac spice]

hi everyone. i'm still stuck in the land of superchunk. there seems to be
a bit of a drought lately. so, i thought i would write a little post. 

i've been looking for the box set, but canada seems to be deprived of it.
maybe i'll just have to get around to buying all the singles separately. i
asked at a couple of record stores about the box set and the poor people
didn't even know of belle & sebastian, let alone the box set.

saturday night was the birthday party at my university bar. CHEAP drinks!
it's the event i've been looking fwd to for ages. but luck me came down
with the stomach flu that very afternoon. i insisted on going, but i only
managed to stay for just over an hour. i was in a miserable mood. you know
when you're sick and everyone keeps asking "are you ok?" and you know
they're just trying to show concern but you're so irritable that you just
want to snap "LOOK, YOU KNOW I'M FUCKING SICK! DO YOU THINK I FEEL OK?"
and then punch them and burst into tears? well that was how i felt, so i
went home early to puke and sleep. 

i was also mocked a great deal by my friends jeff and catherine. jeff
thinks he knows everything just b/c he's married! but i was too sick to
even put up a fight. see, jeff thinks i only go for mean guys. but this is
not true. i don't know why it never occurs to anyone that perhaps i am
actually a mean girl. i kind of am in relationships actually. i try not to
be, but i have high expectations. i just want a guy i can be proud of.
usually i am embarassed of them. is there any solution to this problem?
how can i stop being embarrassed of my b/fs? how can i get an
unembarrassing guy to like me? i don't even really want a b/f right now,
but when i do want one i want to be friends with them first. that way i
really can go in with my eyes wide open and not be blinded by the love and
sex right at the start. that means i need to befriend a guy and
then...this seems like a long process. anyway. if you read this far you
are a wonderful and considerate person and i truly appreciate it.

-di


he who hates is to be pitied, but he who loves is to be pitied more
-german proverb

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