Sinister: Sound system gonna bring me back up, yeah!

[Katy]

Hi Sinister.

Di said:
>i don't know why it never occurs to anyone that perhaps i am actually a
>mean >girl. i kind of am in relationships actually. i try not to be, but i
>have high >expectations.

Yes. It's the only time when you have no choice but to be selfish. These
boys you're talking about have to try harder! When I say try harder, I
don't mean putting on a front or trying to be something they're not. I just
mean they have to still be the person you liked in the first place. I'm not
just talking about boys - it's the same for anyone.

My trouble is that I always like boys who are a bit cynical, maybe a bit
self-effacing even - you know, not loud-mouthed show-offs who act as if
they think they're great. I suppose because people who act like that are
usually even more insecure underneath than the rest of us. But there's a
fine line between being a bit cynical, not taking the world too seriously,
and taking everything far too seriously cos you hate everything.

It's not that I think finding the right person (or, you know, *a* right
person) is the answer to happiness and stuff. But it would be nice though.
I think that whether I ever want to have kids or not might depend on
whether I found someone I liked enough. But this is looking way into the
future - I'm scaring myself now! And I've been studying genetics too long.

PineFox quoted:
>The indie scene is interested in precisely the jeopardising or loss of
>self >through terror or awe, precisely the absolute investment of the
>self....

Which I suppose is the whole point about good music. But too many songs
focus on love for another person as being the all-important thing, and it's
not really. Despite what I just said. That's why B&S are so wonderful -
they get to that magic, or, okay, loss of self, without that. The songs can
be about the shittiest things in life but still be full of beauty and hope
and truth. Someone said a while ago that they couldn't think of a B&S song
that could go on a crush tape and that's why.

The Offbeat night with all the good music was sold out! I thought there'd
be about three people there! And I even did wear a badge. Two of my friends
had decided not to go anyway cos that boy one of them fancies wasn't going,
but Jamie was going to come with me. We just went to the pub instead and
when we'd heard Road Rage by Catatonia for the second time we took over the
jukebox and put on David Bowie and Nirvana.

katy
x

"I got a Catholic block
Do you like to fuck?" - sonic youth


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