Sinister: He's a caffeine addict...

[Paul Field]

Hello all. It has been a rather long time since I wrote here. Hmm. I guess I
am a little like a recurring nightmare that you think you have finally seen
the back of, and then suddenly once again rears it's ugly head. 

I have been drinking far too much coffee today...it is simply a necessity to
prevent bruising to my head, which would otherwise be inevitable as my eyes
close and my head falls forward to WHACK on the desk. 

The problem is...I think I may have over-compensated. I can feel my heart
banging violently into my chest from the inside...it feels like I have
swallowed Keith Moon and he's banging away in there. And no, I am not
sexually aroused...not even by the thought of swallowing Keith Moon...

I think I need to exercise...work off some of this excess energy. I think I
should probably go for a 78 mile run. Or I could jump out of the window...I
suppose that that is always a solution...no, I am not feeling depressed! My
feet are ultra-bouncy is all! I could jump out of the window and bounce
along the streets...bouncing up to 40ft high, like a human spacehopper.
People in their offices would be looking out of their windows purely
gob-smacked...I can see the headlines in todays evening standard..."Ginger
human space hopper causes panic in the streets of London" ... but who will
hang the DJ (dickslap Judy)? 

By the way, by mentioning Keith Moon do I have to send a picture of my arse
to the body parts page? Where's that wide angle lense? 

Finally, as I eavesdropped on Laura and Velocity whiling away their time
over a cup of strawberry tea, I heard this come from Laura's lips...

A boy who doesn't like The Pixies really isn't a boy at all, Is he? 

No Laura. He is a *man*!!! 

Then, a few days later, in a mood of merriment, our dear Velocity murmured

		and happiness... it's like chocolate... you like it that
much you have to keep it in your mouth and let it melt in there, tasting it
blissfully, so the joy of eating it lasts longer...
Which could only leave me wondering whether it was actually chocolate she
was talking about. What? It could have been shortbread, you filthy minded
guttersnipes.  
On that note I think I should depart...

Tatty-bye
Paul.  

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