Sinister: Beagle Flan

[Alder, Lucy]

I saw a builder's bumcrack today.  He was bending over some paving slabs and
he was all pale and pasty and flabby, but to my surprise, my initial
reaction was not "get that out of my sight right now!" but "he'll catch a
chill in his kidneys if he's not careful".  That's what my Nanna said to me
when she saw me in my Saturday Night Hussy T-shirt on Sunday.  It's a bit
short to wear with low-slung cords, you see, and I get a chilly, gappy bit
around the middle.  Maybe she should have asked why I was wearing a Saturday
Night Hussy T-shirt on a Sunday, but I wore it on Saturday night too, just
to make it clear that I can be a hussy on a Saturday night, should I so
desire.  Not that I was though.  I'm a good girl, I am.  I washed me face
an' 'ands before I come.

Speaking of which, my sister says Geri Halliwell is the new Rex Harrison
because they both talk to musical accompaniment to cover up for the fact
that they actually can't sing:
"I like sugar on my colour TV" says Geri
"By Jove I think we've done it!" said Rex/'Enry 'Iggins
Darling Audrey Hepburn didn't sing in My Fair Lady either, but she mimed
very nicely and wore some classy frocks.  Did she sing Moon River herself?

Genevieve wrote:
>>I find it very sweet that Struan-Doll wanders the toilets of Glasgows for
artistic inspiration.
I wonder if he goes into the Ladies as well as the Gents in search of words
of wisdom he can use.  I'm sure he could sneak in with the help of a wig and
a smear of lipstick.  Then, he could write a very interesting essay
comparing the two.  For some reason, I always imagine that the walls of the
boys' bogs are covered in rather primitive drawings of cocks with spiky hair
on the balls, although I can't be certain that this is the case because the
boys' smells so nasty I wouldn't go in unless it was a dare or a desperate
situation.  On a wall down Green Lanes in Harringay, somebody has wirtten
Gay Dad Everywhere.  Now there's a frightening prospect.

Right, that's your lot for now.  I'm off to Milan on Monday, daaaahlings, to
get my annual fix of shopping, footie, proper ice cream and dark, handsome
strangers.  Hope everyone going to ATP has a gorgeous time.  

Juicy Lucy




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