Sinister: tempers brewing

[idle berry]

hello all,
where do I begin?
well, right now I'm supposed to be seeing my lecturer
for some advice, and hopefully help. But shes busy, so
I might go and see her later.
I sat on the bus today. I felt on the verge of tears.
I do sometimes when I'm alone with a problem to solve,
and not the sort of problems you get from text books. 
But I looked out the window and tried to put it out of
my head.
I could alomst still hear him shouting.

Him, my flat"mate".

Him, the bastard.

I spent the night at a friends place. It wasn't ideal,
it wasn't what I had planned. This is my last week of
classes, and I have some translations and an essay due
in, plus my exams start next week.

I tried to get on with some work, and I did, actually,
I got quite a bit done. Not all of it, but a bit.

My dad called me, my boyfriend called me, and my best
friend called me. She said she'd tried to call my
house, but they told her I was an ex tennant and had
gone for good. She was going to have a go at them,
shes like that, a lovely person, but shes great when
it comes to the snarling bit and putting people in
their place.

My other friend let me stay at hers after I called her
last night. I'd been sitting on my porch, which goes
into my room. My bedroom door was locked, I didn;'t
want anyone near me. Least of all him.

I called her, cried down the phone. I think I looked a
mess, mascara all over the place. I really ought to
invest in something waterproof.

She came over and helped me pack a few things. We sat
on my bed, chatting for a bit, sharing my last
cigarette.

Lots of hugs. I needed hugs.

My dad called, and wanted to know what had happened.
I'd only spoken to my mum and brother before that, he
wasn't home from work yet, you see.

I'd been sitting on the porch since the people came to
view it. They saw me afterwards, but politely ignored
my sniffles and tears.

Maybe you would too.

They came to view the house after it all happened.
Almost as exactly as they had knocked on the door, to
be exact. Great timing.

My flatmate lost his temper last night. He threw
something at me. He said I was abnormal human, I was a
freak. 

It all happened that morning. I was just leaving, and
he said they had people viewing at four o clock, to
leave my door unlocked to my room, so they could show
them around. I said I'd be back by then, locked my
door anyway. I've lost my cash card and specs you see,
and I didn't want anything else to get up and walk.
And besides which, my room was a mess. Nobody goes
into my room unless I let them, and its tidy.

I wasn't back. university things to do. Things to sort
out. You know how it is, maybe? 

So he screamed at me. I told him he should have given
me more warning. He'd had all weekend. He said I was
pracing about, in my room. I was in my room, but I
told him I wanted to get my degree, if he hadn't
noticed, but it was the end of term. I told him I
wasn't answering to him, I wasn't there to do that. He
called me a freak, saying I spent all my time in my
room. I do, but thats my progative, don't you agree?
Then he picked up something, and threw it at me. It
missed, hit the door. The other flatmate, for all he
won't get involved, let it happen. Didn't say a thing,
lift a finger. I was fuming, but the minute I left and
went into my bedroom, I felt afraid. 

When I went to my friends place, I was angry. I wanted
to go back and slash his precious bike tyres. He loves
that bike. Keeps it in the living room (despite the
fact that we have a shed) and washes it in the bath.
Other folk take rubber ducks, maybe a sailing boat in
the bath, he takes his bike.

I was so angry. 

My dad called him, and threatened to call the police
if Andrew so much as laid a finger on me. Andrews
response was it was empty threats. My dad told him
just to try and see. He told him that its not right
for a twenty year old man to start throwing his weight
around like that, behaving like an animal, like a
spoilt brat. Andrew didn't see why I was scared or
upset. My dad told Andrew to try it in my shoes.
Andrews nearly twice my weight, and a good foot taller
than me.

He told him to call and appologise.

He told him to leave me in peace, to let me get on
with my life as I wanted to, to ignore me.

As my wise friend said, he was sharing a house, not
renting a friend.

As I said to her, he couldn't pay me enough to rent me
as a friend.

So what do I do today?

well, I might go and see about alternative
accomodation. There must be something they can do on
campus for me. But my dad would prefer if I tried and
stuck it out. I might call the letting agency and let
them know that hes agressive and intimidating. But
what will they do? his word against mine. And I'm sure
my other flatmate will happily take his side.

What I wanted most was to speak to someone. and shes
busy.

what I want is to sort out this situation I am in. 
Maybe I could pretend I was in the circus, throw
daggers at the bastard.

I dunno.

Also, going to buy tigermilk for my friend who helped
me out. 

as a thankyou.







=====
http://www.geocities.com/idleberry

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