Sinister: Tigermilk & Honey

[Jarrod San Angel]

(copied to the list)

Dearest Honey,

First and foremost, allow me to ask of you your forgivnace for creating a 
monster on an otherwise placid list, when all I aimed to do was give a 
personal review of the forthcoming album.  True enough, my tone was not that 
of one who seemed to care what others thought, and I am saddened to think 
that I may have burst more than a few bubbles out there.  I suppose I meant 
my review as more of a heads up to list members, as opposed to a flat out 
attack on the album - but whilst taking in the aftermath of my post, I've 
come to agree with many that I should have at least given some sort of 
disclaimer about my post - warned those who don't want a foreign opinion 
thrust upon them - not to read below a certain point.  Alas, I did not, and 
sloppily threw together a post that was neither flattering (to myself or the 
band), nor kind.  I'll venture to say that I was just so shocked at the 
knowledge that this album was much LESS than what I expected (and again, my 
expectations were not out of reach), that I just had to release some of the 
frustration (over the album) that was brewing & brooding up in my heart.  If 
truth be told, the review I posted took me all of 10 minutes to compose, and 
I sent it off into cyberspace without so much as a backward glance to see if 
what I had written could in any way be misconstrued or taken offensively.  
In a previous post, I had admitted that I knew some of my words would 
inflame the all too delicate sensibilities of some on the list, and that 
there would be a backlash - but I ask you, Honey - is it the aim of the list 
to quash an opinion that angers or upsets some?  It the role you play one in 
which you must censor or hush comments that could upset some feeble mind?  
Forgive me, when I say feeble mind, I mean a mind that seemingly cannot 
withstand an outside opinion.  And from the looks of my inbox, there are 
many.  Okay, so there are rules that must be adhered to, and yes, indeedy, I 
did in fact agree to them upon signing up.  Agreed.  I will henceforth 
comply.  I have no problem with that.  However, what I and many others have 
a problem with is that there are those here who DEMAND constant harmony on 
the list, and that simply can't be.  In an ideal world, yes, we'd all get 
along swimmingly, and agree on every turn of phrase.  But the truth is much 
harsher.  There will be those who will speak out of turn, out of line, and 
just plain confound and irritate people.  Fear not, I don't plan to be one 
such bastard.  =)  But I will defend the right to speak, pontificate, 
expound, elaborate, and jeer freely and openly on any subject the list deems 
worthy.  It's a basic right, old as democracy itself.
By the way, the comment I made about the rules being as ridiculous as those 
in the Cider House Rules was unfounded.  I haven't even yet read the 
Sinister List rules..  my point, albeit badly made, was that ANY rules on a 
mailing list will ineveitably be broken, whether intentionally, or 
unwittingly.  And so to have such rules only leads to further unrest when 
one breaks them..  but I do understand their importance, and now, having 
read them.. I will uphold them, as promised.

Honey, it's nice to have a place to come to discuss anything and everything 
under the sun, and I value the many personalities I've found here on the 
list, yourself very much included.  Let me just say that, now (golly, 
hopefully!) that this storm is clearing, it is in my sights to embark upon a 
renewed and more constructive relationship with you and the other 
sinisterians.  Let us embark upon something sweeter, long may it last..

I hope to hear more from you, and look forward to further discussions.
You've been more than kind to write to me to explain a few things..  I thank 
you!

                              Jarrod San Angel



>From: honey at xxx.org
>To: Jarrod San Angel <sanangel22 at hotmail.com>
>CC: sinister at missprint.org
>Subject: Re: Sinister: Thus Spoke Every Zarathustra
>Date: Thu, 18 May 2000 22:34:37 +0100 (BST)
>
>Copied to the list: let this be an end to the discussion of list
>content please.
>
>Jarrod,
>
>I'll assume you sent your mails before you saw mine to the list.
>Please don't misunderstand me.  I'd never in a thousand years say
>people shouldn't criticise the band, or the label on this list.  I
>don't think you did anything wrong in giving your opinions of the LP,
>such as you heard it via MP3.  We differ a little in your style of
>delivery, but that's a personal matter, not a list protocol matter.
>And strong and varying opinions are the meat of any mailing list.
>
>So far so good.  But please understand this list has rules, and you
>signed up for them when you subscribed.  They've evolved over a long
>time, involved a lot of people, who have reached a powerful consensus
>over how to make a mailing list this big and this active survive.  They
>took a lot of time and a lot of patient care by a lot of people who
>worked to make this list what it is today, and that work continues, by
>the kind people who take time to mail me.  I therefore can't help but
>wince a little when you say:
>
> > The rules of the list seem as ridiculous as those in The Cider House
> > Rules, should any of you read the book.
>
>Forgive me, that stings a little.  This is your opinion.  But this list
>has rules, others don't have so many, or none, and you make your own
>choices where to live.  And that's fine.
>
> > It's a bit of a joke, really,
> > that there are rules at all,
>
>We differ.
>
> > as lists like this not only provide a forum for
> > celebration for a band, but a much needed trading of new and different 
>ideas
> > and such.
>
>Very very true.  And not just celebration, and not just the band.
>
> > You can't regulate such a thing without there being lines drawn,
> > and emotions upset.
>
>I believe exactly the opposite, and I think the current episode shows
>that.  And we both agree that lines being drawn are sometimes a good
>things, sometimes bad I think.
>
> > So I'm all for dropping any rules, and having a free
> > for all..
>
>Jarrod, this is non-negotiable.  You're allowed to mail *me* and
>discuss list content, and I promise faithfully to project true
>opinion about the list by the majority of members as it's
>communicated to me.  I don't want to and won't run a list that the
>majority of members don't like.  Besides, they'll just leave.
>
>Nothing in the FAQ limits discussion of any content on the list, apart
>from discussion of list content itself, which you indulge in here; it's
>outlawed for the reasons outlined in my list mail, and this consensus
>was reached after bitter experiences on this and other lists.  The
>other thing that's outlawed is outright vicious flaming, which no-one's
>quite done yet, happily.  People criticise the band, the label, and
>should feel very free to do so too if they think their cause is just.
>I'd just like to avoid false oppositions, and if we're criticising an
>individual band member or whatever, I'd like to make very sure they get
>the same courtesy as anyone else.  It's a question of tone, I guess.
>
>Finally just a couple of minor things.  Please remember to ask people
>if you're posting exerpts from private mails they sent you: it's
>courtesy, and actually lawful to do this.  I'm sure none of the
>people you quoted mind, and maybe you asked them all, if so disregard
>this.  Secondly please do be careful about sending mails twice to
>Sinister.  We have a lot of list traffic and it helps to keep the
>volume down.
>
>Thanks,
>Honey
>
>

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