Sinister: trying to remember to forget...

[Laura Llew]

She pulled a pen out of her garter and said let me handle this. Then she cut 
him with an epigraph and slew him with a word.....

Perverse:
Mark C-my-ass-a-rot-to  (He always leaves us hanging) murmured,
“In any case, it's the perfect opportunity to meet all your favorite 
sinisterines. Apart from the ones who live in North Carolina. Feel free to 
bring non-sinister people - obviously they'll have to undergo the sinister 
initiation test, so get that life insurance premium in, but the more the 
merrier.”

Ahh, the reclusive Carolinians who never show their faces. (Well, except for 
Damo who isn’t reclusive but I hear it isn’t his face that he likes to 
show.. heh). We could have a North Carolina picnic and it would be such an 
*event*...
In this corner, with the rumpled feathers and twisted beak is Pelicannn 
Boyyy Rob.
*crowd goes wild*
And in this corner in a shawl with her crochet hook and strawberry tea we 
have Laura Llew.
*All of Laura’s cats go wild*
Refereeing is THE ENFORCER, Damon Seils.
I’m sure that nerdy shy pacifist, Blake, would be out picketing the whole 
event while Melissa Williams was wishing she could come but is too busy in 
the library being ‘checked out’. Are you ready to rumble?

Self-conscious.:
I was able to fenaggle out of work for an itsy bitsy teeny weenie (but sorry 
no yellow polka dotted bikinis) vacation this weekend to Charleston. No 
Sinisterines seemed to want to team up with Laura Llew, so I went to a 
picnic on the beach without you. And it was lovely! There was volleyball! 
There was soccer! (Sorry, I just can’t call it ‘football’. It was coed 
though and just as a warning to everyone... Girls are not delicate out there 
playing. They’re blood thirsty, mean,
vengeful players who show no mercy -- the same way we are in relationships.) 
I’m sure that no one there has ever heard of Belle and Sebastian but the 
boys were cute. Who am I to be picky on
a sunny Saturday afternoon while frolicking in the waves?

Elitist:
Anyway, I have decided to become the List Enigma. Normally, you wouldn’t 
announce to 1200 people that you’re the mystery of the group. It contradicts 
the whole idea. BUT (Mark, there’s only one t in that word. No need for you 
to get up.)  I’m only going to be that in real life. I’ve had so many failed 
meetings with other listerines that I’ve decided to give up. So, let the 
vicious rumors fly about what I’m really like because none of you will ever 
know! You can say anything
about me as long as it isn’t true. Of course, there is no need to settle in 
on this idea. In a couple of years, I’m sure I’ll be traveling and  need 
someone to stay with. Then,  you can all call me a ‘sell out’ and talk of 
the good ole’ days when I refused to even let anyone see who I was and only 
sent out pictures of Dorothy Parker instead.

Unbelievably Naive:
Of all the complaints that I’ve heard people make, I still most remain pro- 
sinister and say that I love the people on this list. For example,  Lawrence 
Mikkelsen who had the extra copy of Mojave 3 a while ago and offered to send 
it to whoever e-mailed him first for it. It’s not as if he had to do that 
but it was undeniably generous.* Julie is also a sweetheart by sending out 
Will Oldman mix tapes to anyone who so desired. (I would have thanked you 
personally, Julie, but I forgot your e-mail addy and your last name so I 
don’t know how to get in touch with you. I did really appreciate it though). 
That’s why I love Sinister because of the people on here. And just so you 
all know, any time you want to work on becoming a more compassionate, 
service oriented
person - you can send all gifts and such my way. I’m here to help you become 
a better person because that’s what kind of caring humble girl I am.

Stupendously Dull:
There was a lot of talk about having a book review on Sinister but as soon 
as I told everyone they could send it to me & I would post it... *poof* 
there was nothing. Is anyone still interested? If so, please send things my 
way. Feather Boa, you should be happy to know that I talked some young 
impressionable girl into buying “Breakfast At Tiffanys” the other day. A 
review on that would be most lovely. If you all depend on me, you will be 
bound to whatever my fancy is at the time.
Right now, I’ve been reading a lot of local (western north Carolina) 
fiction. In fact, I just started taking a class for the summer on 
Appalachian Culture where the teacher said that he would “read
our eyes off”. Sounded like a pick up line to me!

Intellectually Insulting:
Though I have the legal man mp3, I haven’t been able to listen to it yet. 
However, I have heard new album. (Hint Hint: This next part is about the new 
album. If you don’t want to waste time e-mailing about me calling me a 
Rotten Spoiler then skip to the delete button. You’ve been
warned.) I thought the first note of the second song was amazing. So pure 
and honest. The imagery was amazing.. I could see the figure of the model 
lounging about in the beams of the sun coming in through the window. The 
sculptor who cast aside his tools, injuring his assistant
who was looking out the window instead of paying attention...  I thought the 
second word of the first song was a bit disappointing. The “I” seemed a bit 
weak and fragile to lead into such a strong second word. I don’t know what 
Struan was thinking....   Um, ok so I won’t give you a play by play account 
of my opinion of the entire album. Overall, I really like it. “Family Tree” 
is me perfectly ... without the wispy voice.

Intensely Irritating:
I heard another Looper song on the television. This time it as “Burning 
Flies” on MTV’s  biorhythms of Beck.

Appallingly Dishonest:
Does anyone want to cut my career as an enigma short and adopt me?  I live 
in a madhouse but I don’t have enough money to move out on my own. ‘I’m 
eligible, but not too stupid. Intelligible, cute as
cupid. Knowledgeable but not always right. Salvageable and free for the 
night.’ Of course being cute as cupid isn’t saying too much. He’s a chubby 
guy in diapers which makes him equally attractive as Drew
Carey.  Anyway, I’m quite tidy. I write way more than I talk. And beside the 
more than occasional snide comment, I’m actually quite nice. Any takers? 
heh.

black leather and chains,
(You abuse the list your way. I’ll abuse it mine).

Laura
‘Being unbelievably naive, appallingly dishonest, stupendously dull, 
intellectually insulting, elitist, perverse,  self-conscious,  petulant, and 
intensely irritating  since 1977’

* See, I can say nice things about people who aren’t single!

****Laura Llew’s List Member of The Week****

This goes out to the lovely lass who though her mind was tormented with the 
stress of finals was able to send out a post with not only one but TWO Twin 
Peaks references. Though her latest entry might have been full of talk of 
men in tight tights she’s a doll. So, it all goes out to ................ 
Julie Sauer (Cyberglam)..................

“Fellows, don't drink that coffee! You'd never guess. There was a fish IN 
the percolator!”
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