Sinister: Praying and laughing.

[Julie Sauer]

Today was the day when I remembered why I hate Pennsylvania.  For those of
you who do not know my exact living situation (shame on you), my parents
live in PA, and I live in New York, and I'm now living at home until
school thankfully starts up again and whisks me away to the big city.  For
some reason, my parents decided to repaint my room this summer, probably
so they can turn it into some sort of anti-Julie office or study or
something once they're sure I'm gone for good.  But anyway, in
preparation, I cleaned my closet today.  I discovered some VERY disturbing
things.  For one, I own more than 10 pairs of Doctor Martens.  My lord!
Next, from 1992/93 I subscribed to Propaganda, the U2 fan magazine.  I was
13 at the time and can not account for my fanatacism, although my first
ever rock concert was the U2 Zoo Tv Outdoor Broadcast tour at Veteran's
Stadium in Philly on Sept. 3, 1992.  Seven days before my 13th birthday.
Obviously, it had quite an impact.  Also, I own a number of Depeche Mode t
shirts that is nearly  unfathomable.  Now, I clearly remember my
alternateen phase, from around the age of 13 til 15 (which explains the
Docs, but not the sheer multitude of them), but I must have somehow
blocked the softcore goth phase out.  Wait, now that I think about it, I
do remember on occasion wearing black eyeliner and dark lipstick at the
same time.  I think I need to go to rock and roll confession.  Forgive me,
listees, for I have sinned.
Speaking of sins, I also discovered a wee booklet in my sweater (jumper)
drawer today which tells me how to Examine My Conscience.  It instructs me
what to confess, how to confess, and how to save my soul from the fiery
depths of hell.  My, the mortal sins I've committed.
Perhaps you should all examine your consciences as well, just so you're
sure you're not in cahoots with Satan unwillingly.  
The Sixth and Ninth Commandments
DID YOU WILLINGLY TAKE PLEASURE IN USING IMPURE WORDS?
DID YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO IMPURE TALK?  
DID YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN SINGING IMPURE SONGS?
DID YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN TOUCHING YOURSELF OR OTHERS IN AN IMPURE MANNER,
OR LET OTHERS DO SO TO ME?
DID I WANT IMPURE THOUGHTS, AND DID I TAKE PLEASURE IN THEM?
Apparently, if you ever sang along with I Don't Love Anyone or you even
THOUGHT about why Judy was a dickslap, you're SCREWED.  Get thee to a
confessional!  It's also a mortal sin to get "helplessly drunk", fyi.  
Another bit of pro-Christian propaganda I found today was a book called
Hell's Bells, The Dangers Of Rock n Roll.  I remember the exact
circumstances by which I acquired this book.  When I was 15 I had my first
grown-up crush on this boy named Andrew.  I met him at camp, and when we
went back to our respective states of residence we'd send eachother mix
tapes and silly gifts.  I sent him a Keroppi notepad, and he sent me
Hell's Bells.  This book is actually the "study guide" to a video series,
so a lot of it doesn't make much sense, but the general loathing of the
author towards music in general shines through.  The best thing about it
is the quotes at the beginning of each section, because in their eagerness
to prove how eeeevil music is, they managed to quote some great bands.
The Jesus and Mary Chain were sent straight from Satan, as were the Who,
the Ramones, the Smiths, the Velvet Underground, The The, David Bowie.
And New Kids On The Block...there's a whole section at the end of the book
called "But what about NKOTB?", and it instructs you to fill in the name
of any other band invading the hearts of preteen girls as time goes by.
And there's a marvelous quote about a NKOTB concert that I can only PRAY
(to my pagan gods) will be an accurate description of this summer's Belle
& Sebastian dates..."It's as if the concert stage were a reef in some
Sargasso Sea of raging teenage hormones."  Sigh!
Okay, now I feel it necessary to express my love for Laura Llew who
proclaimed me her list member of the week even though I wasn't subscribed
to Sinister at the time.  I love you Laura!!  Btw, on a Twin Peaks note,
Megan and I watched The Trial with Kyle Maclachlan whilst in Russia and
although Kyle is a hottie as ever, I much prefer him as Agent Cooper
rather than Josef K.  Mostly because The Trial was dead fucking boring.
Also, Martin Robinson is my hero for buying me a copy of Legal Man, as I
went to the only record store in this God-forsaken town that even carries
Matador the other day and the Belle & Sebastian section was EMPTY.
Aaaaargh.  I've placed wee pictures of you both on my pagan altar. Last
time I posted I was accused of name dropping, so I'll stop now.
Um, and speaking of The Who, what's UP with this fucked up SUV commercial
with the polo playing people and Baba O'Riley in the background???  Oy.

xoxo
Julie

"Lips that taste of tears, they say, are the best for kissing."  -Dorothy
Parker/Laura Llew (From what was my favorite poem long before Trembling
Blue Stars nicked a line for their album title)


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