Take a walk in the park, take a valium pill
Read the letter you got from the memory girl
But it takes more than this to make sense of the day
Yeah it takes more than milk to get rid of the taste....
It's ME - Laura Llew! Once again, I am posting in order to help your delete
finger become more dexterious. See, what kind of nice milkmaid I am? Last
time I rambled to your poor aching ears, we were in the midst of preparation
for the best holiday ever - Halloween. Now, we poor Americans are in the
throes of an election gone awry. If you think about it, Halloween and
elections are quite similar. They both start out with promises of sweetness
but only end up leaving you ill and doubled up in cramps wishing it would
all just GO AWAY.
Stuart Murdoch is in my Journalism class! Oooh, aren't you simply chartreuse
with envy! Of course, I still haven't figured out what he's doing pretending
to be a 20 year old American named Andy but he still looks cute in those
tight teez. I let him know that I was on to him by
commenting that he indeed looks like Stuart Murdoch (which he knows since
it's OBVIOUSLY him). Of course, he played innocent and ignorant - acting as
if he had never heard of himself! It was silly but I played the game, even
offering to make him a tape of Belle and Sebastian. (He's probably just
wondering if I'll pick what he thinks are his best songs on there.) I must
say though that he has an American accent down really well.
I hope that he and you will excuse my lack of list spirit in not
participating in the Auction. I was going to send something in but then the
deadline hit. That was that. However, I think it's lame that we can't bid on
items with other services instead of money. Stinkin' capitalist! That is
fine if you're GEORGE DICKIE but otherwise. Well, I guess it is going to
charity so I can't really complain. (Ha! I can always complain). I still
want to offer something even if it can't be bid on. So, I made a list
(surprise surpise) and if anyone wants anything from here - let me know:
*Ask not what you can do for Llew but what Laura Llew can do for YOU*
5. Lots of listees have mentioned that they can't drive and so I will
patiently tutor you in the ways of the road. I will even teach you how to
use the turn signal which is a something that is still commonly undiscovered
to many drivers today.
4. Haven't you always wanted a crocheted bookmark? They're twee! They're
dainty! They're knot knitted! I would offer to do something larger like a
blanket but I'm currently in the midst of a PINK CAPE for prissy chrissy. Oh
yes! What a masterpiece it will be and it shall soon overtake JenOwl's Pedro
as the most talked about cape on the list.
3. Speaking of JenOw - what kind of hoodlums do they let run around
Scotland fracturing sweet girl's skulls with large rocks??? I guess I can
relate since in school we also had hard kids, except for they were known as
'rednecks'. In math class in high school, I had a similiar experience when
this boy who really hated me (for still unknown reasons) became so enraged
one day that he TORE off the top of a desk and threw it at my head. My face
was turned at the time and so I didn't even see it coming. Plus, I have a
tendencies toward head injuries anyway. (I once had three concussions in 6
months and I should simply stay inside where I belong). Anyway, my third
offer is to either RESCUE Jen from that mean evil place or move there to
become her bodyguard. I can enroll in her school (hey, if I was on a WB show
I would still be a freshman in hs so I can get away with it) and protect
her. I'm pretty wimpy (I had to have my little sister open a jar for me
yesterday) but I have sharp teeth and I can bite hard.
And, no, that last thought cannot be used for an offer for anything else.
Sorry.
2. I'm quite skilled at picking lots with an emphasis on apartment door's
deadbolts. With the exception of one night of boredom and deliquency when a
friend and I snuck into an apartment, rearranged all of the furniture, and
then quietly left - I only use my skillz for good. So, if you have a habit
of leaving your keys behind or I dunno, accidently swallowing them - I can
help!
AND the #1 thing that Ll can do for you:
1. Make a list for you! (Though Mick Cooke certainly wouldn't put it on the
B&S top ten list. If MY pixies list isn't good enough for him, nothing ever
done by me will be!)
I would actually have offered to go on a roadtrip (which I love!) or invited
whoever to come & stay at my house here in the mountains North Carolina
(since people always seem to visit the wrong parts of the US). However, I
would have felt bad because that's the kind of thing that depends on the
person bidding. I couldn't really handle any psychos, phreaks, homicidal
maniacs, or anyone else who closely resembles members of my family. But boy
do I have a crocheted
bookmark that is just SCREAMING your name!
Everyone else claims not to be listening to B&S lately but all of my cd
slots are filled with the ear candy that is Belle and Sebastian. I keep
falling in love again with different songs. This week it has been Sleep the
Clock Around, Dirty Dream #2, and after being serenaded with this song by a
cute boy yesterday - Judy and the Dream of Horses. I'm currently trying to
make another B&S compilation tape since the one I made last November is
obsolete because of the new album. However, I am having *so* much trouble
and nothing is clicking. So, if any of you had made similar mix tapes and
found a really good string of b&s songs that flow really well
pleasepleaseplease let me know so I can steal it.
After all, I am making a copy of this tape for "Andy".
Laura
"meeting all those Laura Llew needs since 1977"
PS- Sorry for confusing the 2 andreas in my last post. They're both darlings
though and so its easy to get them mixed up.
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