Sinister: How do you cure a crush on a white boy rapper?

[Beth Tilston]

Hey Sinisteroonies,

Idles mentioned that she had bought a bottle of Tiger
Milk.  I'm sorry to do this to you all but despite the
classy name, Tigermilk is, in the  immortal words of
my sister "Minging".  It's cheap and sweet.  Or
perhaps you bunch of alcoholics (no malice intended!)
like that.  They sell it at my local pub that I work
at occasionally.  It brings no end of mirth to the
battalion of B&S fans that have sprung up from nowhere
in my village.  It does come in a big fuck off bottle
tho, so it is perfick for picnics and such like.  

 Someone actually paid money for my talent in the
auction.  I can't believe it.  I don't think I would
have paid money for my talent, which basically
involves sticking sequins on other things with glue. 
I AM really good at sticking sequins on other things
with glue, so perhaps their bid was not so misplaced
after all.

Some questioned the realness of JenOWL.  I have to
say, you do kinda get the feeling that she is the
wonderful creation of some very gifted writer
pretending to be a young scottish girl.  No JenOWL, I
do believe you are 100% real.  I wouldn't want to
start insulting people on one of the very few trips
out of lurkerdom that I make.  Perhaps you should
write a book, 'JenOWL and the hard kids', in which you
would end up triumphant and all the hard kids would be
working in a factory that they could never ever get
out of for ever more.  I would totally buy it.  You
could do illustrations as well.  That'd show 'em. 
Little bastards.

I have suddenly developed a big crush on Eminem.  I
know it's wrong, but I don't know how to cure it.  Can
anyone help me?  Is it terminal?  Oh god.  I want to
wrap him in a duvet and feed him soop.  I don't know
what's wrong with me.  I just love his little scowling
face.

Anywho, see you soon you bunch of unbelievably
attractive (and REALLY REAL) kids.

Love beth
xxx

P.S. Hey LJ

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