Sinister: Hey, what did you do with my pants?

[chris lampinen]

Hi.

My name is Christiaan and I justgotoutof the nursery and this is my first 
post and I'm reallyreallyreally excited.  I hope you guys like me because 
I've been skimming the archives and you guys all seem radder than ripe 
tomatoes.

No, inaccurate: you guys ARE radder than ripe tomatoes.  I really hope I am 
accepted into your community.

So! First off I just heard the new Christmas song.  I think it's the best 
B&S track since "Waiting for the Sun to Rise," and that says it all, doesn't 
it?

Now to the important stuff.  My life!  I need advice.  It is crazy like a 
wild squirrel, and wild squirrels are crazy like turtles.  Yeah?  Yeah.  So 
here's the scoop (pick a flavor): there are three people in my eye right 
now.

Person number one is a boy.  Let us call him 'Milkmaaid.'  I am totally 
lusting over Milkmaaid.  He is SO fucking hot that I can't believe it 
sometimes.  However, I have two problems.
1) Milkmaaid is a boy.  I am a girl-lover.  So, how do I get to bat for his 
team without actually leaving my own?
2) Milkmaaid seems to not really exist.  I've never really seen him...Except 
in mirrors.  Is he maybe a ghost or something?  This makes it extremely hard 
to get sweet luvins because, well, there is no body to grope.

Anyway.  I want a piece of Milkmaaid.  Badly.  But see, it gets more 
complicated...

I have an unrequited crush on a girl.  We shall call her, hm, say, 
Millkmaid.  Millkmaid is super-mysterious.  Who is this mystery girl who I 
pine for?  Why do I pine for her at all?  I think it has something to do 
with crocheting.  Meelkmaid, who I will discuss in just seven seconds if you 
read at the correct rate and will hold your horses thankyouverymuch, also 
crochets.  Hm.  Another frightening simularity between the two: neither 
crochet for money.  Yes, that's right-- free hookers.

So I have a lustboy and a crushgirl.  One, two.

And that leaves Meelkmaid.  Oh, Meelkmaid!  Meelkmaid stayed with me for a 
week.  We walked through the park kicking leaves, gazed at the steaming 
manholes in detroit (she LOVES the steaming manholes), watched movies about 
ballet and homosexuals, and dressed in each others clothing.  You see where 
I am going, right?  Yeah, I think I fell in love.  In the comfort of my own 
home, no less.  Whoops!  Please don't yell at me!  Sometimes I feel like I'm 
on a cloud and the onl--

No, not really.  Although sometimes I have to pee really bad and I feel like 
I'm going to explode, which is kind of the same thing.  Right?

Now what do I do?  Do I go for:

--------------------------------------------------
a) Lust      [ ]
b) Mystery   [ ]
c) Love      [ ]
--------------------------------------------------

Please vote!  Your Christiaan needs you.

In other news:  I have glittery boot cut girls jeans.  Yeah, they hug my 
bum, and I like it. So hmph.

Now, how are you?

x

Love,
Princess Christiaan

Mad Props to the other two Princesses:  Princess Honeylove and Princess 
Starry Sarah

Word to Pookie G. for finally putting christiaan;nuts on the map

Shot out to Miss Crush for the hook up (and my mystery voter for giving me 
self esteem [unless mystery voter was myself, which is quite possible])


*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
"Flint is dominated/but never imitated/the others perpetrated/but still we 
regulated"
--The Dayton Family

"I know you wanna do it/you know I wanna do it too/out here on the dance 
floor/yeah we can make sandwiches"
--Detroit Grand Pubahs
                                                   <3
"I fly without wings"                      PLUR <3 <3 <3 PLUR
--Barbie                       /xoxoxoxoxoxoxo christiaan xoxoxoxoxoxoxo\
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